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How To Overcome Fear
and
Resistance to Feedback, Page 2
This is Page 2 of How to Overcome Fear and Resistance to Feedback where I am reviewing the four feedback acceptance steps that can be easily remembered with the acronym: H.E.L.P.
On this Page. I'll share more about the 2nd Step: E. Examining Why.
- H. How Important Feedback Is…
- E. Examining Why
- L. Learning Balance
- P. Pick What You Use
Step 2 on How to
Overcome Fear and Resistance to Feedback –
E. Examining Why
My exposure to feedback about my performance more than tripled when I started my business in 2004. I had many restless nights and anxious moments - all that feedback was causing inner angst and turmoil.
I knew that getting feedback on every thing I did as a Consultant was just all part of being a Consultant, and I really wanted to do well. I knew I had to figure out how to overcome my fear and resistance about feedback if I was going to continue.
My own assessment tools and a review of past experiences helped me examine why I was having such strong reactions to feedback. This insight helped me better understand my ‘sensitivity to feedback,’ which then helped me gently and firmly manage my focus, self-talk and reactions to it.
- Insights from My Assessment Tools Around My Behavioral
Style: My natural very high Dominance and high Influence DISC Behavioral
Style (100% in both Styles) means that I most fear losing control (D) and
social rejection (I).
With this specific understanding and self awareness I got better at managing my reactions. I also started pay more attention to, when I could, who I opened myself up to for feedback.
The Greatest
Fear for Each of the Four DISC Behavioral Styles:
How
strong the fear is depends upon how strong the
Style is for you, what
other Styles are also a part of your natural personality and the circumstances you're
facing.
-High D - Dominance – Fear of the Loss of Control
-High I - Influence – Fear of Social Rejection
-High S - Steadiness – Fear of Change
-High C- Compliance – Fear of Getting It Wrong
- Insights from My Assessment Tools Around My Workplace
Motivators: My strongest Workplace Motivator is Theoretical/Knowledge, and my scores in this are are far
above population mean. This means
that I am passionately motivated and driven to become a Product Expert.
My Motivators Report Results helped me realize that I'm most energized when I can study a topic and be seen as an 'Expert' in it. With this knowledge I now understand why I can be particularly sensitive to and get stressed out about feedback, especially if the feedback indicates I don’t know enough. That really gets to me!
Greatest Area of
Stress for Each for the Six Motivators:
How strongly you will feel the stress for your top motivator will depend upon high strong the motivator is for you, what other motivators are also strong and the actual circumstances you are facing.
-Theoretical /Knowledge–Inability to learn and build
expert status.
-Utilitarian/Economic-Wasted resources, time and
material.
-Social/Altruistic – Decisions that are
insensitive to others.
-Traditional/Regulatory-Opposition to their
beliefs.
-Individualistic/Political-Actual or perceived diminishing/loss
of power.
-Aesthetic – Too much objective focus &
inability to express feelings.
- My Past
Experience with Feedback: In my childhood, at school and in the
corporate world I only remember a couple of effective feedback-giver role
models. Not many people in my world have
known how to use use the 11 'Must-Have' Feedback Behaviors I talk about often in my
workshops and in articles.
My past experience with feedback was often with givers of feedback who were not all that effective in giving it. I seldom had the experience of effective feedback and so, was often defensive to ANY feedback.
Recommended Feedback Acceptance Action: Review your personal assessment results and background through the lens of: receiving feedback from others. Figure out where your own sensitivities lie. With this awareness you can begin to smartly manage your natural reactions more effectively.
Go to Page 3 for Feedback Acceptance Step Three- L. Learning Balance
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Go to How to Overcome Fear and Resistance to Feedback Page 3
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