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How To Overcome Fear and
Resistance to Feedback, Page 2

Page 1, 2, 3, 4

This is Page 2 of How to Overcome Fear and Resistance to Feedback where I am reviewing the four feedback acceptance steps that can be easily remembered with the acronym: H.E.L.P. 

On this Page. I'll share more about the 2nd Step: E. Examining Why.

  • H. How Important Feedback Is…

  • E. Examining Why
  • L. Learning Balance
  • P. Pick What You Use

Step 2 on How to Overcome Fear and Resistance to Feedback –
E. Examining Why

how to overcome fear of feedback

My exposure to feedback about my performance more than tripled when I started my business in 2004. I had many restless nights and anxious moments - all that feedback was causing inner angst and turmoil.

I knew that getting feedback on every thing I did as a Consultant was just all part of being a Consultant, and I really wanted to do well. I knew I had to figure out how to overcome my fear and resistance about feedback if I was going to continue. 

My own assessment tools and a review of past experiences helped me examine why I was having such strong reactions to feedback.  This insight helped me better understand my ‘sensitivity to feedback,’ which then helped me gently and firmly manage my focus, self-talk and reactions to it.

  • Insights from My Assessment Tools Around My Behavioral Style: My natural very high Dominance and high Influence DISC Behavioral Style (100% in both Styles) means that I most fear losing control (D) and social rejection (I). 

    With this specific understanding and self awareness I got better at managing my reactions. I also started pay more attention to, when I could, who I opened myself up to for feedback.

The Greatest Fear for Each of the Four DISC Behavioral Styles: 
How strong the fear is depends upon how strong the
Style is for you, what other Styles are also a part of your natural personality and the circumstances you're facing.

-High D - Dominance – Fear of the Loss of Control
-High I - Influence – Fear of Social Rejection
-High S - Steadiness – Fear of Change
-High C- Compliance – Fear of Getting It Wrong

  • Insights from My Assessment Tools Around My Workplace Motivators: My strongest Workplace Motivator is Theoretical/Knowledge, and my scores in this are are far above population mean.  This means that I am passionately motivated and driven to become a Product Expert.

    My Motivators Report Results helped me realize that I'm most energized when I can study a topic and be seen as an  'Expert' in it. With this knowledge I now understand why I can be particularly sensitive to and get stressed out about feedback, especially if the feedback indicates I don’t know enough. That really gets to me!

Greatest Area of  Stress for Each for the Six Motivators: 
How strongly you will  feel the stress for your top motivator will depend upon high strong the motivator is for you, what other motivators are also strong and the actual circumstances you are facing.

-Theoretical /Knowledge–Inability to learn and build expert status.
-Utilitarian/Economic-Wasted resources, time and material.
-Social/Altruistic – Decisions that are insensitive to others.
-Traditional/Regulatory-Opposition to their beliefs.
-Individualistic/Political-Actual or perceived diminishing/loss of power.
-Aesthetic – Too much objective focus & inability to express feelings.

  • My Past Experience with Feedback: In my childhood, at school and in the corporate world I only remember a couple of effective feedback-giver role models.  Not many people in my world have known how to use use the 11 'Must-Have' Feedback Behaviors I talk about often in my workshops and in articles. 

    My past experience with feedback was often with givers of feedback who were not all that effective in giving it.  I seldom had the experience of effective feedback and so, was often defensive to ANY feedback.

Recommended Feedback Acceptance Action:  Review your personal assessment results and background through the lens of: receiving feedback from others.  Figure out where your own sensitivities lie.  With this awareness you can begin to smartly manage your natural reactions more effectively.

Go to Page 3 for Feedback Acceptance Step Three- L. Learning Balance

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