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How To Overcome Fear and
Resistance to Feedback Page 4

Page 1, 2, 3, 4

This is Page 4 of How to Overcome Fear and Resistance to Feedback where I am reviewing the four feedback acceptance steps that can be easily remembered with the acronym: H.E.L.P. 

On this Page. I'll share more about the 4th Step: P. Pick What You Use.

  • H. How Important Feedback Is…
  • E. Examining Why

  • L. Learning Balance
  • P. Pick What You Use

Step 4 on How to Overcome Fear and Resistance to Feedback – P. Pick What You Use

The last insight I’ll share here in how to overcome fear of feedback is this important understanding that: All feedback may not be about you, but all feedback IS for you.  Take a minute to write that down.  Read it again, and remember it.

Feedback comes to you by way of each person’s behavioral style. One person might want you to get to the bottom line quickly (High D’s), and another person might want you to provide all the details and the logic (High C’s).  In addition we all have different life views and experiences that, rightly so, causes each of us to have our own goals, preferences and biases around what we think is “right” and what we think other people should do.

Feedback is often another person’s perception, it is definitely not always ‘the truth or the only way. It’s just one person’s perception.   

But, knowing what another person's perceptions are, is powerful. Once you know you can begin to understand what other people see.  You can look at situations from a different vantage point.  And, with this wider view of information, you can make better decisions about the actions you take.

Recommended Feedback Acceptance Action:  

  • Write this Mantra down and remember it. It can help you remain open to feedback and less fearful of it: All feedback may not be about me, but all feedback is for me.
  • Go more general in your mind as you review the feedback you receive.  Sometimes you need to pay attention to specifics, but often times it’s better to review feedback in a more general manner looking for recurring themes. 

    For Example: From the feedback of my first workshops back in 2004 I realized I was trying to offer too much in each class.  Some of the feedback was confusing due to different style preferences and view points, BUT out of all of it I realized I needed to work on how material I covered in each class.  I was trying to cover too much.  That's one reason why: "All feedback may not be about me, but all feedback IS for me."   Go general and look for themes.

How to Overcome Fear and Resistance to Feedback Wrap Up:

If you value feedback (Step 1: How Important Feedback Is…) and you begin to understand your own natural  human reactions to it (Step2: Examine Why), while you’re intently listening to feedback in a neutral manner (Step 3: Learning Balance) you can begin to sort through the feedback and choose which feedback you'll use to reach your goals, and what you’ll let go (Step 4: Pick What You Use).

It’s still not always easy for me, and I suspect, for many of us.  But with these four how to overcome fear and resistance to feedback steps, it gets easier and easier to continually advance and grow professionally.  Yea!

"If you don't get feedback from your performers and your audience,
you're going to be working in a vacuum."
Peter Maxwell Davies

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