This is Page 3 of How to Overcome Fear and Resistance to Feedback where I am reviewing the four feedback acceptance steps that can be easily remembered with the acronym: H.E.L.P.
On this Page. I'll share more about the 3rd Step: L. Learning Balance.
When you’re starting a new business, a new job, a new project
or learning a new skill it’s common, normal and, sometimes, helpful to
acknowledge others’ experience. To value their feedback as accurate and
important. But not too much.
It’s no wonder that as I began my business I was ‘freaking out’ and resistant about all the feedback.
Not only was I getting a lot more feedback than ever before, I thought I needed to change and do something about every bit of feedback I received! But so much of the feedback was confusing and ‘all over the place’.
Here’s a synopsis of feedback after one of my early workshops: “Talk faster… talk slower…program was just right…it went too slow… there was too much detail… not enough detail… this was fun… boring… so helpful…didn’t learn a thing…loved the nail exercise helped me…thought the nail exercise was dumb…I can’t believe how much my report revealed about me…I thought those reports were off…” What was I to make of all of this?
Over time I learned that I needed to balance my approach to feedback. Here are a few tricks I use that help me:
Here's how I now respond to feedback when I'm reading it or getting it in person:
Later on when I’m by myself or when I'm journaling, that's when I celebrate, examine and/or feel the ‘emotional hit’ - if there was one - around the feedback. I no longer down play the good feedback OR the feedback that feels like criticism. I take time to just ‘be’ with it – to think about it, feel it and examine it in detail.
Learning balance by initially staying neutral in your response to the feedback you receive AND then taking time to examine it, not ignore it OR use all of it, is crucial if you want to know how to overcome fear and resistance with feedback.
Recommended Feedback Acceptance Action: I use these 'tools' to remain neutral in my response to feedback. Each is very simple, VERY effective and will really help you in your efforts around how to overcome fear to feedback!
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