Podcast Episode #70:
Antidote for Anxiety, Fear and Stress

Overview of Episode #70 --- 

• The difference between anxiety and fear.
• The surprising antidote of grief, and how it is the proper response to all change, transition and loss.
• The 4 elements for working through grief, that leads to more energy and less stress.
• The reasons we avoid feelings and the surprising truth.

Contact John Lee

• Website: www.johnleebooks.com

Timing on Recording: @ 9:01 ---

Topic 1: What Is Anxiety? What is Fear?

• Anxiety, in the truest sense, is the fear of the unknown. 
• Fear is about the known, or about the object.
• Fear has an object and anxiety does not have an object.
• With anxiety, we engage the illusion of control and hope that the illusion will turn into reality.

Timing on Recording: @ 18:00  ---

Topic 2: What is Grief? 

• "I believe grieving is the doorway through which we step into our maturity and our humanity."
• The more you are able to grieve, the more mature you are and the more humane you become.
• We live in a “Sibling society.”
• We do not have mentors to show us how to grieve; we do not have rituals or ceremonies.
• Grief felt and expressed actually gives us energy afterwards.
• “Now we're going to get through this, we're not gonna cry, we're not going to be sad."
• Grief is the doorway into maturity, and it is a door that stays closed to most people.
• “Grief is the proper response to all changes, all transitions and all losses.”

Timing on Recording: @ 27:18 ---

Topic 3: What Things Are Required For People Who Want to Grieve?

1. We have to know that grieving is a part of life and become conscious of the fact that we have to grieve these changes, losses and transitions.
2. For someone to really grieve, they have to have a community of people for support who will not try to talk them out of their grief.
3. Ritualize grief.
4. Have a ceremony to signify that the grieving period is over.

• One of the forms of depression that is caused in many people is the repression of emotions and feelings.
• Grieving can be done alone, but it is really supposed to be done with others.
• How you grieve, can set yourself up for joy.
• People try to negotiate change or loss, not grieve them.
• People were raised with this idea that you do not show emotions in public. you keep them to yourself.
• For sadness, the fear is that if you descend into it, you will not come out.
• If you repress your grief, you repress your joy. And if you repress your grief, you tend to try to repress the grief of those around you.

Timing on Recording: @ 46:40 ---

Topic 4: Ways People Can Help You Express Grief.

• Grief does not always come with tears, grief is an attitude. It is a way of being in the world around loss and transition and change. And sometimes a lot of times tears will come.
• Grief can go hand in hand with anger.
• Change brings grief; it causes us all to be more present.
• The brain is only equipped to think, but the body can be sad, be angry, be joyful, it can have multiple emotions running through it. Any given time of the day.
• Pain is linear. The body is circular.
• Our thoughts will be better and clearer if we actually feel what we feel.
• If we started to understand that our emotions are linear and they have value and they are important, maybe we would have less anxiety if we get comfortable with the circular nature of emotions, the up-down, and not fight it so much, just say, "Well, that's just how I feel."

Timing on Recording: @ 1:06:51  ---

Topic 5: Closing

• Book to help gain insight: Growing Yourself Back Up: Understanding Emotional Regression
• Last bit of advice, what would you say to everyone right now?: “Calm the hell down, and be smart and considerate of those around you.”

“WE ARE NOT IN THE SAME BOAT..."

I heard that we are all in the same boat, but it's not like that. We are in the same storm, but not in the same boat. Your ship could be shipwrecked and mine might not be. Or vice versa.

For some, quarantine is optimal. A moment of reflection, of re-connection, easy in flip flops, with a cocktail or coffee. For others, this is a desperate financial & family crisis.

For some that live alone they're facing endless loneliness. While for others it is peace, rest & time with their mother, father, sons & daughters.

With the $600 weekly increase in unemployment some are bringing in more money to their households than they were working. Others are working more hours for less money due to pay cuts or loss in sales.

Some families of 4 just received $3400 from the stimulus while other families of 4 saw $0.

Some were concerned about getting a certain candy for Easter while others were concerned if there would be enough bread, milk and eggs for the weekend.

Some want to go back to work because they don't qualify for unemployment and are running out of money. Others want to kill those who break the quarantine.

Some are home spending 2-3 hours/day helping their child with online schooling while others are spending 2-3 hours/day to educate their children on top of a 10-12 hour workday.

Some have experienced the near death of the virus, some have already lost someone from it and some are not sure if their loved ones are going to make it. Others don't believe this is a big deal.

Some have faith in God and expect miracles during this 2020. Others say the worst is yet to come.

So, friends, we are not in the same boat. We are going through a time when our perceptions and needs are completely different.

Each of us will emerge, in our own way, from this storm. It is very important to see beyond what is seen at first glance. Not just looking, actually seeing.

“We are all on different ships during this storm experiencing a very different journey.”

- Unknown author

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