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Wake Up Eager Podcast   |   Wednesday Tips

What Is My Life Purpose I Cannot Find my Focus

by James

I read your what is my life purpose article - I have to say it is great and is exactly what I have been going through for the past 2 years.

I lost my job. It caught me totally off guard, I had no idea that I would ever lose my job. I'm 48 years old married with 2 kids.

After the shock wore off, I soon came to realize that I need to find a new career. Then came the question: What do I want to do for basically the rest of my life?

I hired a career coach to help me stay on track and explore new career directions. My career coach has tells me I need find a focus. Once this is found I can concentrate on that area and get prepared for possible interviews.

This maybe easy for some, but I cannot find my focus. I question and beat myself up everyday. What is my life purpose? I do not know what to do!!!

I keep telling myself it will get better and I will figure it out, but 2 years has gone by and I am still questioning? There are days that I am totally mentally exhausted.

This is the worst thing I believe anyone can go through, not knowing what you are on this Earth to do. If you could give me some advice, I would greatly appreciate it.


James, Thank you for taking time to read and to share your journey… I’ll share some thoughts and just ask you to take what feels right for you and discard the rest, okay?

I think the best thing you could do right now is to stop asking yourself the question. It’s keeping you from moving forward because you have practiced resistance and angst around it.

For now, it’s too big. I’m not saying that your answer is not available and will not come to you, but I am saying stop asking and soon answers will come to you in small and big ways, and not a like a big thunder clap in the sky.

A Suzie Story…
Last Christmas we were traveling and I lost my camera. I looked everywhere. I called my relatives asked them to look. I re-traced my every step.

It was making me crazy.
I called my relatives again and asked them to recheck.
I went through our car and rechecked our bags.

I fretted and felt restless. I felt like I was forgetful or not careful with our things or not organized. It really bothered me – I could not find our camera.

If you were to read my mind and feeling place, you would have heard an endless loop of fretting,
“I can’t find my camera, Where is my camera? Why can’t I find my camera? Who has my camera? Do you have it? Have you seen it? I can’t find my camera!”

Finally I wore myself out and decided that it was indeed lost. I made peace with that and stopped punishing myself. I decided to use my Christmas money – that felt less wasteful – to buy a new camera, plus I told myself, everything's on sale – it’s after Christmas.
While not thrilled I did feel a little better.

Four weeks after I had my new camera – I opened a cabinet drawer I rarely go to.
Guess what was sitting there?
My “lost” camera.

When we think we can’t find something – we can’t.

So, I recommend: step away from the big question and start asking a smaller but as important question – which is:

“What can I do, say, think and feel that will help me feel better in this moment?“

Ask yourself and follow what feels best in the moment. Do this as often in the day as you can.

This would include not beating yourself up. It is a focus on looking at, thinking about and writing about what you appreciate about your life and your family.

After just a few days of this – you will feel your energy lift and soon, new insights and ideas will come to you.

Make peace with where you are (I mention this in this article). That means stop pushing against and fretting about the topic a little bit at a time.

Kind of like I did with the camera. (I know your life purpose is bigger than my lost camera – but this is EXACTLY what I did in my own quest for finding my life purpose --- you can’t find your best answers in struggle. Relax and soothe yourself some…)

Check out the video on the bottom of this page It's a good way to help you start being a little lighter on yourself.

Also, this page has a < a href=""> perfect work worksheet.

Start your own worksheet by adding small and big insights to it. This tool is simple and very big, and I credit it for helping me get here. I kept and edited my own perfect work worksheet for years.

To recap – I recommend:

  • Start asking a smaller but as important question a thousand times a day – what can I say, think, feel, do and focus on that will help me feel a little better and find some relief

  • Make peace with where you are – stop pushing and just accept that right now you don’t know. And start softening that with – but I will know, I will get there. Other people have been where I am and meanwhile I’m just going to relax and do what I need to do to be in my life and with my family now.

Getting at peace, over time, with who you are and where you are right now is your purpose for right now.

Truly the big What is My Life Purpose – is wrapped around and related to being happy with what you are doing.

That is like the crazy quote in my article: The purpose of life is to live a life of purpose.

Get into what is in your life now and be on purpose and more at peace ---- and in that more receptive, less stressed, more happy state, your purpose will dawn on you.

You can’t be asking like you are asking and not have the answers come. I see and know that your purpose is create and live a full and happy life. And that more specific answers are coming to in the lookout for them!

Keep me posted… seeing all the best for you!
With Appreciation,

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