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Two Secrets - How to Find Happiness

Growing up my mom made me want to try to figure out how to find happiness. That's because even though she seemed perfect to me, I watched her struggle daily with fluctuating highs and lows, moving quickly from joy and appreciation to frustration, worry and moodiness.   There were more low days than high days.  She just didn't seem truly happy very often.

mood swings woman

It Started a Quest to Understand Motivation, Mood and Happiness...

I observed the moods and went on to have a great childhood. But the 'adult angst' I observed did affect me. It put me on this quest to answer these questions:

  • What causes a healthy, attractive, creative and lively young woman, like my mom and many other adults, to struggle with how to find happiness?  Why do some adults struggle with feeling good about themselves and life more than others? And what can be done about it?
  • And at work, why does one employee leave a perfectly good job to start a potentially more lucrative, but definitely more risky business adventure? And another employee willingly and very happily work 30 years for one company? What accounts for the different drives and these different answers to the how to find happiness question?
  • How can the single mom who's working hard and barely making enough money to pay her bills, seem more joy-filled and happy than the rich, stay-at-home house wife? What accounts for the differences? It looks like money's not the key? What is it?

Happiest Ever - How?

As the new year rolled in, during my daily journal writing time I listed all of my accomplishments for the year. It felt good. I like what I'd accomplished. It dawned on me...last year was definitely my happiest year ever. More than ever before I felt:

  • joyful
  • At ease with myself
  • At ease with others
  • In tune with my life purpose

Life IS getting better and better. I'm glad that it's happened, but how? But, how did this happen? As I reflected on the year I zeroed-in on two 'secrets' that helped make it my best.

soul's purpose

My How to Find Happiness Secret #1:

This year I did a better job of getting in step with my preferences.

Getting in step with your preferences means to:
spend time doing what most energizes you. More energy and feeling better is an indication that you are 'on track' with your purpose.

If you're living a life that is tune with what motivates and inspires you, your intrinsic motivations, life feels on purpose, fulfilling and happy.


How to Find Happiness Secret #2:

I did a better job of minding the gaps in my own experience this year.

To Close (Mind) the Gaps Means to:

Get really good at, spending time, closing the gaps, between where you are and where you want to be on all subjects.

it is noticing whether your beliefs, actions, conversations and thought processes in every moment are taking you further away from or closer to your intentions.

The bottom line in how to find happiness is: follow your preferences. Do more of what energizes you while you pay attention to the gaps or blind spots.  See more about following your preferences and minding the gaps, on page 2.

"Whether we are happy depends on inner harmony, not on the controls we are able to exert over the great forces of the Universe."
---Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
Flow The Psychology of Optimal Experience

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