Wake Up Eager Workforce 
Episode 134 Transcript

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In this episode of the Wake Up Eager Workforce podcast, host Suzie Price explores the often misunderstood world of emotional intelligence—and why it’s less about fixing and more about feeling. Inspired by a viral Twitter thread from executive coach Joe Hudson, Suzie is joined by Douglas White, former MLB coach and now CEO of Soul-Integrated Athletics, to unpack 30 truths about emotional awareness, embodiment, and leadership from the inside out.

Through vulnerable storytelling and sharp insights, Suzie and Douglas show how emotions aren’t problems to solve—they’re signals to honor. From Suzie’s personal story of moving from overthinking to true embodiment, to Douglas’ practical wisdom on navigating anger, joy, and self-trust, this episode offers a new model for emotional wellbeing as the foundation of high performance.

You’ll hear how feeling your way forward—not intellectualizing your way out—is the key to unlocking resilience, alignment, and true connection with others. Whether you’re navigating workplace stress, personal growth, or leading a team through change, this conversation is a reminder that how we feel is feedback—and it’s meant to guide us.

Read the transcript for Episode 134 below and discover how emotional awareness, practiced intentionally, can help you lead with more presence, power, and peace.

Transcript

[00:00:00] Suzie Price : what if emotional intelligence wasn't something to master but something to feel in this wake up eager workforce podcast I sit down with Douglas White a former Major League Baseball coach turned soul centered leader and coach to explore a viral Twitter thread by executive coach Joe Hudson this episode is packed with truth bombs about emotional awareness being real not perfect and why feeling your emotions is the key to peak performance connection and freedom this one's honest deep and refreshingly human and I can't wait to share it with you Michael hit it

[00:00:34] Intro : welcome to the wake up Eager Workforce podcast a show designed for leaders trainers and consultants who are responsible for employee selection and professional development each episode is packed full with insider tips best practices expert interviews and inspiration please welcome the host who is helping leaders trainers and consultants everywhere Suzie Price

[00:01:00] Suzie Price : welcome to the wake up easier Workforce podcast where we help leaders build a high commitment low drama wake up easier workforce and a life you can't wait to wake up to I'm your host Susie Price and this episode is sponsored by my company Priceless Professional Development clients hire us for four main reasons 1 to help them make better hiring decisions 2 to become proficient and expert in using the Tri Metrix assessment throughout the employee life cycle 3 to help leaders lead more effectively and 4 to help teams work better together if you find value from today please be sure to like follow and share the wake up bigger workforce podcast with your team and on social media please tag me Susie Price and our podcast and we'll um comment and be thrilled to know that you're tuning in and have comments and thoughts to share so thank you very much in advance this is episode No. 1 34 and the title is Feel Your Way Forward Douglas White on Emotional Awareness Embodiment and living from the Inside Out the show notes for today which you are going to want to access is priceless professional. com forward slash emotional awareness priceless professional dot com forward slash awareness all one word lower case and as shared in the opening this episode's all about feeling it's not about fixing paying attention to becoming emotionally aware and I'm joined by the wonderful insightful big hearted very smart and kind Douglas White he's the formerly Major League Baseball coach now CEO of Soul Integrated Athletics and we have a wide open soul deep conversation on what it means to be emotionally aware embodied and real so we're digging into a powerful Twitter thread by executive coach Joe Hudson and he titled that thread how to be more emotionally intelligent without trying so hard and it's a viral collection of 30 one liners some of them are longer than one liners but they are 30 truths about being emotionally intelligent and they're a little bit like truth arrows we have some discussion about what we really think about each one of them some of them we have our own way of explaining I have mine Douglas has his and I'm you're gonna have yours on what that that statement means but they're not fluffy statements and they don't cuddle each one will make you pause or did me and make us think and you often times I'd say yeah I felt that oh I'm not sure about that one or yeah that was something I really needed to hear haha so great 31 liners that we all have we have outlined all 30 from the Twitter feed and have a link to that Twitter feed at priceless professional dot com forward slash emotional awareness that's the show notes let's before we dive in I wanna tell you why this spoke to me and deserves this conversation here on the podcast Joe Hudson is a coach to some of the world's top leaders and his work centers on something we don't talk about enough in performance driven environments and that is emotional freedom so he calls it emotional intelligence Douglas calls it emotional awareness it all comes together and means emotional freedom what if we could be feel free within our emotions they don't manage us we know how to feel them use them live with them what a world that would be'cause emotions are all around us and we tend to want to make everything logical in the business world and it's just not the case Joe Hudson's message is simple but powerful that our emotions aren't obstacles they're the way in they're the way into yourself your relationships and your growth and Douglas is the perfect person to have on to have this discussion because he also lives that knows that teaches that and coaches that Douglas and I picked a few of his truths and again all those truths all 30 of them can be found at Priceless professional.com forward slash emotional awareness and then we we sat down and talked our way or felt our way through them literally and some of the big takeaways that you'll hear us unpacked is that feeling is the gateway to freedom which I just kind of touched on that emotional intelligence isn't about analyzing your emotions it's about actually feeling them and then doing something with them that is productive and helpful to yourself and to others so it's not going out of them or ignoring them it's going through them so feeling is the gateway to freedom the other kind of takeaway and here what you'll hear us unpack is there is no finish line that growth is practice not a trophy and that the soul is always inviting us into what is next and be real not perfect people connect with what's true not what's polished and I connect with that a lot more now than ever I'm not as I think Douglas talks about it in the podcast about putting people on a pedestal pedestal land and that he's not interested in that and so that's one of the things that I love so much about him and what he represents he's into actually helping people and not about trying to look good but being real and Douglas talks about this a bit in our conversation is you know the universe responds how we feel not just what we say we want so this connecting with our emotions and being real knowing there's no finish line and that's a good thing and that feeling is the gateway to what we actually all want so this episode is for you if you've ever tried to think your way out of a feeling I have been the princess and queen of that at different times in my life probably pop into that place sometimes now but I do do know this and live it and Douglas is an example of the better example of really living this so if you're ready to lead and live from a deeper more aligned place come join us in this episode let's get into it

[00:07:02] Suzie Price : welcome Douglas so glad you're here

[00:07:04] Douglas White : thank you I'm awesomely glad to be here

[00:07:07] Suzie Price : it is a privilege and a lot of fun to have you on the podcast and all the goodness that you're sharing around emotional awareness and so we're talking about that again today and we're looking at those how to be more emotionally intelligent without trying so hard that was Joe Hudson's thread on Twitter and it was very interesting the way he shared those and I it was shared I found out about them through Tim Ferris and so when you looked at the those 30 what was your as someone who's very acutely aware of emotions and the importance of them in our lives and how to take teaching people how to become aware of themselves and use them what was your take or what is kind of your overall arching thought on those 30

[00:07:50] Douglas White : yeah so the first things first is that we're all human beings with our own opinions judgment so on so forth our own feelings so like this is with no context of having a prior conversation with Joe you know that kind of thing right but for the first things first is the it's a very interesting deal these days of how cause again human beings we love to label things we love to separate we love to organize right and so here we are with this statement of emotional intelligence and then you have emotional resilience and regulation and so on and so forth and for me I really like to just use the word awareness I feel like that's a nice blanketed word because for me if you say emotional intelligence it's like oh man like are we braining our emotions like I don't want anybody to brain an emotion because that's the thing that's getting us in trouble in the first place is we're overthinking our emotions instead of getting in touch with how we feel and the awareness comes in through your body the awareness is not through your head you might manage it in your head but it always has to come back to the body cause that we're sensory beings you're sensing an emotion you're not intelligent thing I know that's not a word but you understand what I'm saying here you're not intelligent thing an emotion I get a little weary because I want more people to be in this soup I want more people to be in this conversation and I also want to do the best we can to leave the labels out of the conversation and just overall it's just an awareness of our emotions and again that's me being a snob and that's being nitpicky that's what I do though cause it's also a coach's lens it's nice to see things from that lens

[00:09:40] Suzie Price : you know emotional intelligence they that's a kind of a phrase that people are used to hearing so I like that you're shaking it up and saying OK let's not think about our emotions cause that's not really and it's interesting cause one of the items on the 30 is about if you're thinking of that about your emotion you're not really feeling it it's something like that you know so that's kind of point and so words matter and yes thought process matters yes I understand why they do it cause it's come out as makes it socially quote unquote in the business world socially acceptable to talk about emotions yes so in one sense it's a little bit more approachable to people but in the other sense it's taking people away from the actual objective which is using your emotions effectively right yes and well and to your goodness and to your fullness right yes

[00:10:31] Douglas White : I love how you said that because first of all words do matter and also they only matter to the individual using them and receiving them that's the only the words I'm using may have nothing to do with you it has no effect on you you don't interpret it certain ways you're not deciphering it certain ways and then we're also living in this world where marketing is king like selling is king man I have this real like I don't know cause I don't really wanna go into that cateagerry I'd rather be vibrationally accurate and maybe chat with less people than to just throw a bunch of things on a wall because this is not about understanding something yes at first it is understanding something but this is way more about knowing you have to viscerally embody these things you can't intellectualize these things that's not how you live you don't live in your brain you live with your body your heart your soul your beingness and so I don't know if there's a there there is no right or wrong way to do this again like this is you know me nitpicking right and also to give somebody a more vibrationally accurate definition for me I think it's now I don't want to say it's not professional but it's it's more what's the word responsible I think that's would be the word I would use it's more responsible because I'm not trying to collect followers I'm not trying to collect a following I'm not trying to collect dollars I'm attempting to allow people to be self empowered and sometimes it's nice to really hook into what is that feeling because in the end that's what this is about ooh I felt that word I didn't feel that word oh I felt this and so that's the thing it's like when you look through those 30 posts that he put there's gonna be tons of people that are looking at that going I feel that I get that I feel that no doubt about it no doubt about it and also it's fun to turn it up a little bit you know

[00:12:48] Suzie Price : I love what you say and and the only way we take things forward is to for us to say what we see and to be who we are and so to me that's why I am so focused on you and what you're doing because I think you're taking this whole conversation forward to a place that is richer and deeper and it may or may not be for everyone but there's something in it for anyone who's drawn towards it and so it going forward doesn't make what was currently done bad or wrong yes that was a starting place so you are the future I believe yes in this whole conversation of emotions

[00:13:29] Douglas White : first of all I like humbly you know accept that those words that you that compliment I I feel like man that's amazing that you said that and I and I'll accept it humbly and the other thing I wanna say to that is you're right because I feel like moving forward this isn't about people just getting by and getting the quick fixes and getting the Band Aids what I'm attempting to do is reach the people like what's next like I'm trying to fill in the gap for people where they've started and they've hit a certain level because in my life that's what's happened to me I got to a certain level like I I'm not here messing around with in the kitty box right I I got to the big leagues right

[00:14:14] Suzie Price : we're in the big leagues literally

[00:14:16] Douglas White : yes exactly if we're determining life in this we talk about achievement and success well I've already done that like we don't need to discuss that anymore the real discussion is what's after that if you still don't feel the way you want to feel inside your life what's next after that or you you feel good in life you're good in your life but you're still not receiving what you want from life there's something more for you something you wanna be doing there's something different you want to be doing and you wanna be able to consciously deliberately confidently step into that now right and so there is a next level and a lot of people don't know how to follow themselves to the next level I don't care about following me I'm not a coach who needs a million people to listen and follow I just want the few who truly know there's something more to their life but they just don't realize how to get there yet that's where I'm at because that's exactly what I've done with my life and actually I'm doing like that's the thing mine's a work in progress I'm not in a finished place by a long shot which is even more incredible because I do have this knowledge base and I get to continue growing it which is even more awesome you know to live in life that way

[00:15:47] Suzie Price : richer life and I like what you said follow yourself to your next level in other words coming from the inside out what's next not and a lot of his statements do come a point to that too some of his so it's interesting to see that so let's jump into the first one there's a list of 30 and as I mentioned previously when in the opening that list of 30 that was part of Joe Hudson's thread that we're using kind of as a template for a conversation No.3 in that one is this one joy is the matriarch of a family of emotions she won't come into your house if her children are not welcome and why I love that one is cause I do believe joy is the secret sauce when you feel that excitement you know that's yours to do it's something for you there's a calling and but you don't get the joy all the time and so you have to be comfortable with all the other children who come in which is sadness and anger and frustration and impatience and all those other things so you can't fake it you can't as one of our teachers has said to us before Abraham Hicks is you can't put a slap a smiley face on it you know so kind of that's where I took this to mean so kind of what are your thoughts on that and then how do you help people stop resisting those other kind of messy or less joyous emotions so that they can get to this place of joy and self following and that type of thing so for me I've been messing with a list of like non neagertiables inside of this world right these are things that you're gonna live through no matter what and the attempt to understand it may then get you to a place where you don't keep pushing against it or fighting it and so one of the things on the list I believe I have five right now right one of the things on that list is separation we literally

[00:17:41] Douglas White : as physical beings have come to this place on earth and we're here living separation that's what this physical world is if you are non physical you're not in a physical body you're not separated the you're you're in the soup of the sea of intelligence the collective consciousness the you know the love you know whatever that is yes the all the all that is the I am when you decide to come here and be a physical human being you're deciding to come into a world of separation so you're using all of the emotions as the navigation inside of a land of separation and so yes let the joy in and let that be for me like you could say let that be your North Star in the way of just like you said if I'm feeling excitement I know I'm on the path the path I'm on to something you're on to some well that's an interesting statement right there you're on to something I love it even you're on your path is saying if I'm in excitement I'm on my path and if I'm not in excitement I'm not on my path but that's the thing we are always on our path and depending on how you feel is just how separated or not separated you are to the ideal of this path of this one singular path that you think is supposed to be because that's basically why we don't feel good cause most of the time we don't feel good because we were off our path but we're always on the path it's like what do we do with the rest of the emotions if joy is the leading one what do we do with the rest well that's the whole thing none of them are in a hierarchy they're just a frequency none of them are a hierarchy it's just that it's really cool it's really fun it's way more enjoyable to live in joy than to live in struggle period but to live in joy struggle's always gonna be in existence you can't do away with existence or sorry with struggle inside of your existence and so we gotta create that relationship with what our emotions for in the first place

[00:20:03] Suzie Price : so I think we're on the same page I'm just trying to see if I feel any differently when I know I'm feeling joy or excitement or inner goodness or inner excitement I know that I'm doing something that is meaningful to me and then if I'm upset or angry or unhappy or something doesn't feel good I had something happen on an email I got yesterday like oh ouch okay I didn't really love that yeah I just kind of was with it and it was like okay I didn't really love that okay so I'm just gonna kind of let it be and I didn't act like it wasn't there I acknowledged it so that felt like a useful way you know it's like okay yeah that really bothered me and then you know feeling my way through it is like okay so what would feel better you know so it feels better to just say well that's okay that person maybe was having a bad day wasn't any indictment of my self confidence or anything I didn't feel like that was it so that's kind of how I and then I slept on it and then I woke up this morning and I reread the email I'm like huh that really doesn't feel like it did when the first time I read it hmm I don't know that to me that's the different emotions and finding ways to cope with them to use and for me that wasn't a big indictment of I didn't I went mad at myself for not feeling good I paid attention to how I felt yes and then just like said okay so this person just needs an acknowledgement from me that I saw this and we'll do it differently next time and yes it's not a it's not a didn't drag me down so I don't I don't know where that takes us but it it is something to deal with in in regard to what do you do when you have big that's not even a big emotion but it was off track to how I typically feel throughout the day because it wasn't a very friendly email you sure sure so well I think the the interesting thing though

[00:21:49] Douglas White : Susie is it's like you know from my point of view you also live in a different state of being than most meaning you're wanting to look for the good in things you're wanting to to look for the appreciation the thankfulness the the the gratefulness in things right and so right you're spending time in that place because you understand it's important for you to feel good and it's not to collect anything it's not to fix anything it's not to be anywhere you just like to feel good you're able to have a relationship with okay I'm feeling this way right now based on this experience and I just am wanting to make this experience okay cause I don't need it or want it to take over my life but that's not how most people are living most people are living from email to email from reaction to reaction to reflex to reflex and what they don't understand is by the end of this day and this day and this day and this day the momentum is growing and growing and growing and their momentum normally is resentment guilt yeah yeah shame embarrassment and so you're not consciously but you're putting a stop to that not because you're trying to put a stop to it because you just want to feel good

[00:23:22] Suzie Price : I'm acknowledging the feeling is that the difference I'm acknowledging it so the person who's going from email to email is just boiling with resentment while they're doing it and they're saying wait a minute I don't feel good okay let me go figure out where this coming from and sometimes it's coming from past history sometimes it's just cause we're tired sometimes it's you know not doing any exploration is that kind of what you're saying

[00:23:41] Douglas White : yes let me say it this way there's all sorts of levels in the way we're feeling in any one moment of time from what we're experiencing in our life in the moment and the amount that we're feeling in the moment depends on how important that subject is to us and how much momentum we've been putting on it or focus or attention we've been putting on it and so that means there's all sorts of different ways in which to have a relationship with all the emotions because just like you said that I didn't hook into you in a way where you were like oh man that's something I think I need to unpack a little bit that was something where it's like well I don't really want to allow this to make my day unravel so let me just relax a little bit and give somebody some compassion yeah give give somebody the benefit of the doubt yes and then you did an amazing thing where you allowed yourself to go to bed and come back to it you came back to it in a different feeling place so when you read the words they didn't feel the same and now you could now you could regard them differently and then act accordingly think of the emotional maturity in that procedure but that's not the norm that's not what's going on in our world and in my opinion if people understand more where these emotions are coming from and why they're showing up what are they an indicator of because a lot of people out there talk about well just breathe and let it wash over you and let it this and let that and I I get that and I am respectful of that and I agree with that in many many many ways but but emotions are an indicator of something and so yeah if you're aware that that indicator continues to show up you then do wanna take a look at it you do then wanna have some objective feedback on it and and that is of assistance and that's basically what you did

[00:25:43] Suzie Price : recognizing the emotion recognizing the intensity of the emotion hmm and if it's something that's coming up on a regular basis there is more information yes yes my example was not a great example but I can think of times in the past where I have big emotional responses to things and and through coaching and through you know the different mentors in my life I have worked on it yes so maybe I've worked through some of that and there's still big things absolutely you have you know yes

[00:26:13] Douglas White : and I think your example is amazing because your example even though you think it's a small example that's not a small example Susie because that is the exact example that a lot of people let their day spiral from they immediately look at the email and react and respond and the response is not from heart the response is from you know pain the response is

[00:26:38] Suzie Price : totally different type of response than you have the next morning when you say oh that really wasn't exactly

[00:26:44] Douglas White : and so hence what we were talking about before we got on recording here right yeah yeah so all the steps you just named but then that last step of this emotion even though it doesn't feel very good is not telling me I'm wrong it's not telling me I did nothing wrong with me

[00:27:04] Suzie Price : no that I feel this way that's the thing that yes it's a problem people like yes get angry at their emotions which we could interpret his statement to say that to me if we want to give it a

[00:27:17] Douglas White : and there's nothing wrong with the person that is emailing with you no absolutely not but what needs to go on here depending on height of it right is that the indicator is leading you to your gift the package in which it's presented is not the thing that's the thing that distracts us

[00:27:40] Suzie Price : yeah we get caught up in the story as opposed to oh let's just take ownership of it I reacted to this and so that's when you're really being independent and saying OK let me own this yes

[00:27:51] Douglas White : yes you could even take it a little further and go what have I been asking for in my life because depending on what you've been asking for that's what's showing up so for example I've been working on being nice to myself in any and all situations so when a negative feeling emotion comes up not going right to I did something wrong but going oh where's the opportunity here to treat myself nicely yeah and so if a negative emotion comes up that is an amazing opportunity to treat yourself nicely yeah and then to see well what are these things coming into my experience that are opportunities to treat myself better than I normally would nice and it's just that the negative emotion was the the package wrapping it was wrapped in a negative frequency a negative feeling frequency but that has nothing to do with me as a human being I am an amazing thoughtful caring compassionate human being yes not my work my work is acknowledging the fact that that's who I am and I can be nice to me and love me and accept me that's what it is and so it's like it's a very interesting thing on how the universe is interacting with us and that's what I want more people to know about that's what I'm teaching

[00:29:33] Suzie Price : so if we say how to stop resisting messy emotions it could be when I have a messy emotion see it as a gift yes don't ignore it

[00:29:43] Douglas White : yes and you may not be able to jump to the gift but your example was the perfect example of how you got to the gift

[00:29:52] Suzie Price : yeah yeah and it could be something way bigger just don't push it away and then keep going on and then go drink some wine or something I don't drink I have in the past many years ago you know I thought well I'll go have a big old glass of wine I'll feel better you know it's that you know and that's okay as everybody's got a coping mechanism but that doesn't help you actually like find the gift anytime soon yes you know coming the separation

[00:30:17] Douglas White : yes if but if that's your first step like because there's still mindfulness in that right if if you have an awareness that that emotion doesn't feel very good I'm gonna take a deep breath and step away you know what a glass of wine is what feels best for me right now guess what that's mindfulness that's being mindful now just like you said but what do you do after the glass of wine yeah you completely drop it do you act as if nothing happened um yeah yes and then and then drink another one does the emotion show up again does the life experience show up again now if it doesn't show up again that worked whatever you just did there was working now here's the issue especially with drugs this is how the drug addiction gets right yeah yeah cause the drug user thinks that drug is gonna work always it only worked that time you don't know if it's gonna work again again again again again that's the trickiness to life because we're vibrational beings and we're constantly evolving we have to constantly evolve how we are in relationship with ourselves as well so whatever you did last week last month last year it might not work anymore that's a good thing not a bad thing because now you get to discover what is the more in your life what is your life showing you that you're like Dang what's up next for me because I thought this was super powerful and this really helped me you know feel better and move forward and get the things I wanted and do the things I wanted and be the things I wanted I can only imagine what's gonna come next for me to discover and that's really what we're trying to get in the habit of and sometimes that's not a very easy thing to do

[00:32:16] Suzie Price : yeah yeah and seeing seeing that forward momentum or movement or constant change as a positive just like seeing the emotion as a positive even when it doesn't feel good yeah two things so I wanna speaking of that I wanna go back to the non neagertiables will you miss list the 5 real quick you said separation so and we are separated accepting that that we are we are not gonna be in the all that isness cause we are not in all that isness but we can tap into pieces and parts of it by finding our way sometimes through yes feeling good what is the what are the other

[00:32:51] Douglas White : I'll do them in order so I remember them here you're right emotions duality contrast the unknown and separation so far that's my list I started with 3 and now I'm I'm up to 5 as the non neagertiables inside of our our universe and I mean I'm sure you could list all the universal laws inside of that too but that's like the basis of what I was creating here

[00:33:15] Suzie Price : right yeah yeah and you've talked about some of that on our well being 2.0 so we'll go direct people to the pages and it'll come up in our continuing conversation around these items but sure emotions there's two sides of the emotions or many sides you know yes it's always gonna be there the contrast the I feel good oh that hit me in the gut that doesn't feel good and then I don't know what the unknown would stand for

[00:33:40] Douglas White : the unknown meaning sometimes we are not gonna know what the heck is going on we're not gonna know the why of it sometimes we don't know the how of it the what of it exactly yep

[00:33:55] Suzie Price : yeah the how and and sometimes asking oftentimes asking those questions I find that a lot with colleagues and clients and friends if they're asking why a lot they're keeping themselves stuck

[00:34:07] Douglas White : yes for sure the why versus the what

[00:34:11] Suzie Price : and you talked about that in one of your segments which was yes good

[00:34:14] Douglas White : the gist of the unknown is it's just like you know if we could list all these things of what's gonna come up for you in life yeah all these things that are gonna come up that are gonna bring emotions up for you to take a look at if you so choose there's also experiences where you do nothing yeah not one thing this is unknown I don't know why but you how many times in your life has that thing in the moment that is unknown yeah come very clear to you in a year two yeah five it has it happens all the time to us and so that's part of that deal of right now maybe I'm just not supposed to know maybe that's gonna come around at a time where I can more clearly understand it be in relationship with it accept it allow it bring it in and maybe this is just a little too much for me right now because there is one thing we absolutely know for sure the universe is giving us exactly what we want when we want how we want who we want it with exactly exactly that way again as human beings we get locked into no no no no no

[00:35:29] Suzie Price : that's not how I asked for it that wasn't what I wanted it like that and it's like did you did you and that's that was really going on we think our words are the ticket and it's really like where we focus and our energy and yes our vibe and some of our history that we're trying to unravel and yes

[00:35:50] Douglas White : and then also getting hooked into well that's how it's supposed to look oh yeah and it's like so here's here's a short story for you my first journey I did a MDMA journey okay my first journey the facilitator God bless her so I love her to death Donna she said hey if you are gonna purge throw up OK don't worry about it but ask yourself what were you letting go of there what was the gift in that and I'm thinking myself right away cause I hate throwing up I have resistance big time to throw up I do not wanna throw up OK I am not throwing up with that exactly so here I am you know what's about to happen yes I take the medicine I and and and I'm like 30 45 minutes into it and I'm like oh no I think I might need to throw up right now so I say hey can you please walk me to the restroom like she's like no problem so I go into the restroom and I have a conversation with myself like I say my soul right I have a conversation with my soul and my soul says why do you care as long as you get to receive your messages receive your answers why do you care if you throw up and immediately clicked nausea gone I didn't feel off the rest of the day I had an amazing gift journey I I I got the gift and so it was like again why do you care what the package is if you receive the gift and oh my God please whoever's listening I am sometimes so locked into what does that package look like cause that is not the package I want anymore stop giving me that package and again the universe continues to yield the package that is the best thing for you the thing you're most ready for in that moment in that time it never happens differently but we perceive it all different ways so here's the gift here how do you know if you're perceiving it in the way that's gonna be most beneficial to you yeah the way you're feeling if in that moment you can get to that feeling place of acceptance and allowance that right there is gonna be a huge gift for you

[00:38:10] Suzie Price : I've come a long way in regard to that there's always more to do but in regard to feeling attached to how it's all gonna go

[00:38:17] Douglas White : how it has to look it from your MM

[00:38:19] Suzie Price : what do you call it is it the MMDA is that what it's called MMDA

[00:38:23] Douglas White : m d m a

[00:38:24] Suzie Price : that stands for it's a I don't know it's a thing where you you you go and you do a retreat and they help you kind of

[00:38:33] Douglas White : the MDMA is the medicine I think they call it Molly's ecstasy yeah OK yes

[00:38:39] Suzie Price : and it's used in a controlled environment to help people who are trying to overcome or release or be open would that be yes you would describe it if you were somebody yes

[00:38:51] Douglas White : for me the way I would describe it is it's a love dose it's a medicine that for me has helped me get out of my own way and to expand broaden my relationship first of all with my emotions but my relationships with myself as a human being period it's allowed me to go into spaces that I have not yet been able to go into on my own as a human being that's what the medicine has assisted me with I take it very respectfully like I'm not just taking it and I'm at a party with a bunch of friends like that's not what's going on there I'm with a facilitator

[00:39:32] Suzie Price : it's a very clinical kind of yes not clinical sounds cold but very focused environment safe environment exactly very intentional Timothy Ferris talks about that a good bit or has over the years and helping him with his depression and yes different things you know so it all and he's been a big proponent of it I haven't followed it closely but I do know enough that he's like a visible voice in that whole yes world okay yes alright so I like we have your non neagertiables we'll be able to reference those let's go to a second one that I pulled out is No. 24 of the list of 30 and this will probably be another opportunity to talk a little bit more about what we're talking about but if you're trying to manage other people's feelings you're abandoning your own and so to me the way that has played out in my life is I used to try to rescue people and I would say I never do that now but I I spent a lot of time in my 30s and 40s and such trying to help others and so when you're too busy doing that you're not taking care of yourself really and you can take care of yourself and help others but if that's that was my thought about that so talk a little bit how people can stop carrying everyone else's emotional weight and begin leading from a more centered place yeah and kind of your thoughts on that whole statement

[00:40:50] Douglas White : this is where the goofiness comes in because the statement is like it's so locked in it's hard to feel the nuances the layers to a statement right and so for me again it's like it all depends on who you are and where you're at in your life and it also depends on who you're in relationship with because think about this in a in if you're in a a love love relationship you're in love with this human being or let's say a parent child like oh my God your ability as a parent to be compassionate to your child is so important it is unbelievable if you are not emotionally available to your child oh my God and so it's like that statement

[00:41:33] Suzie Price : but that's different from trying to manage other people's feelings well think about that though being present with people and managing trying to get them to get somewhere

[00:41:43] Douglas White : well so think about that though as a parent to a child are we not trying to get them to get somewhere are we not trying to get them to see something to feel something to do something different and so that's where I understand like context wise you know I could broaden the scope of the statement and this is the reason why I'm trying to do that because again we get locked into a statement and we think that's it that's the way the statement in the context that you're using in I agree 1,000,000% and then if we broaden the statement there's a lot more nuance to it exactly there's many more layers to this thing and so like if if you're a parent let's say with a child man is there a fine line balance between an eight year old a nine year old a 10 year old who doesn't have the emotional awareness how do you not rescue them you know what I'm saying because there's gonna be those times where like man

[00:42:22] Douglas White : exactly there's many more layers to this thing and so like if if you're a parent let's say with a child man is there a fine line balance between an eight year old a nine year old a 10 year old who doesn't have the emotional awareness how do you not rescue them you know what I'm saying because there's gonna be those times where like man I'm gonna rescue my child right now I is breaking my heart I cannot go over here and just be in compassionate land I'm gonna be in empathetic land too do you know what I'm saying

[00:42:53] Suzie Price : gonna take action yeah so and that is what empathy is is you take risk for people so we're seeing it from two different perspectives but we're both I think believe the same thing for sure

[00:43:02] Douglas White : yeah again like let's say you're in a emotional mature relationship with somebody you're two adults in a relationship with somebody yes you attempting to rescue somebody is gonna just leave you with no energy whatsoever and basically resenting whoever it is inside of that relationship

[00:43:20] Suzie Price : you know what it made me think of is my nephews has you know a rough childhood and I was helping in all kinds of ways and the it was appropriate help but I was also abandoning my life because I got so fixated on trying to help my sister and her fix her life yes so that's kind of I think that's why I kind of key into that but here's the question or the statement if you're trying to manage other and I get what you're saying because he's trying to make it all absolute so let me make these finite statements and then you use them and you guide your emotions on them and they're not complete but anyway No.24 if you're trying to manage other people's feelings you're abandoning your own

[00:43:57] Douglas White : what was the question to ponder afterwards

[00:43:59] Suzie Price : how can leaders stop carrying everyone else's emotional weight and begin leading from a more centered place so you know what would have been better for my sister is I was so devastated that I was just trying to help and it was a really hard situation to do this day you know the kids are our kids but now if I had been more balanced I probably would have been more effective let's look at such a place of need for them

[00:44:25] Douglas White : let's look at it from this lens I'm gonna make like two statements here one is you're the center of your universe right right you are the most important thing inside of your world and the second thing is what we talked about earlier is the universe is delivering to you everything right on time in the way it's exactly supposed to be okay so now if you think about those two things 1 if you're the center of your universe the first things first is you have to take care of yourself diligently you have to make sure that you're in a space first and foremost to be of service to others if you choose in a moment to be of service

[00:45:10] Suzie Price : there are just two others yep I like that

[00:45:12] Douglas White : yep but then the other part of that is which is talking about the person that you think you may or may not want to rescue is when you're looking at them everything is happening inside their universe exactly how it should when it should with who it should so on and so forth and so now can you take a step back and trust that whatever this person is going through that's what they're supposed to be going through and it's not your job to mess with their universe it's their universe and so now you come back to you and you go okay since I know that about them now I come back to me and go but how do I feel about all this because they're in my universe right now this is a co creative experience how do I want to handle this situation what feels best for me what's my path of least resistance right now and then we move forward it's more about balancing your universe first trusting that their universe is working exactly how it's supposed to and you may not want to be a part in it right now and you just have to figure out what that is for you

[00:46:22] Suzie Price : and that's actually kind of what happened it was many years ago but yes interesting so knowing those two facts and then the center place is a big part of it and then trusting that things are unfolding and knowing when you're guided to actually do something which which is what happened yes you know and that's for example I was worried about the middle one and middle there's three boys but at the time the middle one was in a tough spot and I'm just thinking okay I think we gotta get him over here and he's gonna get caught up in something and all the stir that's going on there but I wasn't I was more centered about it I was just thinking about it I was feeling my way through it and then my husband says we've got to get him out of there hmm and it's like OK and then the next thing that lined up was we were at a car thing and and cause we're big car thing some guy says I need some help in my machine shop and that's exactly what the middle one does do you know of anybody and we both looked at each other and we like well yeah and so and he moved here and that was 11 years ago and rest is history he's married and has a beautiful child and you know but it all lined up

[00:47:28] Douglas White : and so here we go there's the degrees to it you're looking situation going this person is in extreme trouble like this is intervention time this is no longer like because we're letting it go far enough down the line where this person is not figuring it out this person is

[00:47:43] Suzie Price : or is in an environment that isn't supporting yeah he wasn't in trouble but it was about to happen yeah I could feel it

[00:47:50] Douglas White : yes and so that's the thing that's what's very interesting again about statements that's why like I go on Instagram almost every day and I'm like I make myself crazy over what I post what I don't cause I'm like how vibrationally accurate is this is someone gonna take this and run with it the other way and it's like yes of course you can't ever cover that that's the duality of our life that's the duality of our world

[00:48:11] Suzie Price : I love that all right so know who you are pay attention know that they're also support it's what you're inviting people to remember I believe is that no matter what you believe in if it's god if it's another type of belief there is a universal support that loves us and is tending to all of us at all times and if you can tap into that then it makes your sense of urgency to jump in a little bit more like cause I think at the earlier time in that situation I thought I was the only one that could take care of anything you know and so I can remember a coach trying to like talk me off the ledge you know like I have to do something that was not gonna turn out well and they knew it but it's kind of what you're saying the center thing yes all right I like the next one No. 11 anger in its purity is beautiful

[00:49:00] Douglas White : so why do you like that one

[00:49:02] Suzie Price : um because I'm very comfortable with my anger nice if I tell a situation and somebody will be like oh I don't tell too many people you know if I'm something but I'm comfortable if I get mad something matters and I feel it and I'm gonna deal with it and I'm not gonna take it out on anybody but they need to know about it they will haha you know so that's a long time coming too

[00:49:24] Douglas White : yes I think it's an interesting statement and I would love to hear his context on anger and its purity is is is beautiful it's an interesting take on the word beautiful not on the word anger because obviously beauty is in the eye of the beholder right and so for me OK my experience with anger is don't be like your dad don't be like my father and so my relationship with anger has always been ooh I do not want to show anger and so what I would do is I'd circumvent that and just beat myself up and so that's how I got into this process as a as a child as a young adult

[00:50:03] Suzie Price : as a common is that very common

[00:50:05] Douglas White : yes yes and so now I have a way different relationship I've actually started consistent emotional practices where where if I know I can feel that energy bubbling up I honor it I play music that will help bring it up and out I'll do some sort of movement practice that allows me to get it up and out and I'm I'm in discovery of that right now I'm in relationship of that right now and so for me right now that statement it's serving me there is beauty in that because that one yeah when you hit the spot anger is not for anybody else the anger is for you the anger is for your and then find that love of it find that acceptance of it

[00:50:50] Suzie Price : so but it pass through it's kind of

[00:50:52] Douglas White : it's like how do you get it to pass through

[00:50:54] Suzie Price : how do you get it pass through and use it as fuel is kind of the question is as opposed to control manipulation and so that's all the fine line and that's why we are afraid of it sometimes but if we find a healthy way I'm a big into fitness and I know you are too that's a good tool for it for sure have a spouse relationship we can be unhappy with each other and be okay with it and express it and then kind of come back and well okay well I heard you yeah haha you know and it's like I'm not worried that he's gonna melt if I say you know not really like that yes or vice versa he'll say you know don't don't do that like and then you know we come back so anyway an interesting thing so use it as fuel find ways and for you you're finding ways to let it out

[00:51:01] Suzie Price : and so that's all the fine line and that's why we are afraid of it sometimes but if we find a healthy way I'm a big into fitness and I know you are too that's a good tool for it for sure have a spouse relationship we can be unhappy with each other and be okay with it and express it and then kind of come back and well okay well I heard you yeah haha you know and it's like I'm not worried that he's gonna melt if I say you know not really like that yes or vice versa he'll say you know don't don't do that like and then you know we come back so anyway an interesting thing so use it as fuel find ways and for you you're finding ways to let it out yes yes I no longer wanna bury it I no longer want to use it against me yes because just like you're saying anger is not a bad thing anger is showing you how much you care about something something matters something matters very much to you right now yes yeah and then it work I mean that happens at work so you can it's the same thing but they get an email or they're in a meeting and you know Linchioni is a guy who does a lot of business books and stuff and he said if your meetings are boring yeah people are not really talking that's interesting so if you have are having great meetings people are saying I disagree yeah and the only way you can do that is you have high trust I mean I really trust my husband and maybe it work I could think about colleagues and like we really trust each other I have a mastermind and we can disagree so maybe it's trust what do you think

[00:52:34] Douglas White : I love what you're bringing up that and we don't have to touch on this now we can we can do it later but it's interesting how you're bringing this up cause that's some of what I was gonna touch on later in statement 19 and twenty well I have this thing right now and with me is if you think inside of your life right now and the people listening if you think inside of your life how many people are in your life right now where you can truly be you meaning you can show all your emotions to them and they won't leave how many people are in your life right now and so with me I've never had an experience where I've had somebody in my life where I could show all like maybe my immediate family some but it comes with heavy judgment of how you know you're wrong you're bad you're whatever you need to figure that out

[00:53:33] Suzie Price : straighten up don't express that don't blow that on me everybody thinks so laying it on them yep yep

[00:52:56] Suzie Price : how many people are in your life right now where you can truly be you meaning you can show all your emotions to them and they won't leave how many people are in your life right now and so with me I've never had an experience where I've had somebody in my life where I could show all like maybe my immediate family some but it comes with heavy judgment of how you know you're wrong you're bad you're whatever you need to figure that out straighten up don't express that don't blow that on me everybody thinks so laying it on them yep yep but in an intimate relationship I have not trusted that I could find somebody that will allow me to do that it's like I'm scared that someone's I'm gonna love them deeply and then I'm gonna show them all of me and they're not gonna like it there's no doubt about it I think that's most of the world yeah

[00:53:59] Douglas White : I don't want to live with that fear anymore controlling me I'm okay with understanding it's a fair of mine and it's there but I wanna move forward with it or without it I don't care but I wanna keep moving

[00:54:10] Suzie Price : you reference 19 and 20 of the 30 you know the list and so I just pulled it up 19 the exact verbiage is you can't be accepted for who you are if you're not showing up as who you are and 20 is we are often scared of the consequences of revealing who we actually are or what we actually think

[00:54:25] Douglas White : there you go and that's very prevalent in my life right now and so that's why I pulled those two out

[00:54:32] Suzie Price : it's a miracle for me because I didn't have any of that growing up very internal world and didn't and kind of made my own world how that has come about

[00:54:41] Douglas White : right how messy can you be and can that other person that you've decided to spend the your your life with are they okay with the messy it takes some present people for that to happen yeah and so it worked too

[00:54:52] Suzie Price : help performers safely access it as fuel rather than fall into control or manipulation anything you would add to that in regard to tools 1 find healthy ways to express it and there's a lot of different ways to do that what else would you say

[00:55:06] Douglas White : anything for me I relate it to athletes right I just ask them where are you right now with anger because some athletes right now need to use the anger because if they don't use the anger they're scared let's just say in the land of baseball it's all athletics but I'm just gonna use the example of baseball you won't pitch without fear unless you tap into anger unless you use that as fuel until you get into a place where you're truly self confident you're truly self empowered you know your power you know you're confident uh you're gonna have to use other emotions as fuel so instead of being scared what do we know that Abraham's taught us right anger is way more powerful than fear is fear right yup so but here's the thing as you grow in my opinion as an athlete the anger is sloppy the anger is not as precise as a presence of get all of this and confident you see what I'm saying so now it's like what type of pitcher are you if you're a starter and you're trying to go 6 7 innings in a game anger is not gonna carry you very long you're gonna tire pretty quick like somewhere along that 6 7 innings you're gonna have to find your balance and you're gonna have to lock in and do your thing but if you're a reliever and you come in for a short stint maybe it's the three outs then you might be okay with being a tornado you know because you throw 100 miles an hour and you're just trying to blast the by guys yeah but so there's you know obviously again with anything there's there's a relationship with it and it depends on where you are and what you need in the moment

[00:56:50] Suzie Price : okay very good I love the baseball analogies too because the next one is No. 13 on the list people don't want you to be perfect what they want is to feel connected to you yeah so that ties nicely what we're talking about about what if you are a little sloppy you know and I've seen that with teams you know where you'll have a leader who's not perfect but who is real and so their team will like rally around that leader because like oh yeah he messed up but you know he really means well he's real he really cares you know he drinks too much or he you know is always late he is always late you know but it's because they connected with them it's the connection so talk a little bit about that vulnerability and trust and all of that informants

[00:57:35] Douglas White : I think if you find somebody is perfect you're in a trance when you're listening to them you are literally just trying to regurgitate what they're telling you you know what I mean if you're in pedestal land right I've put somebody on a pedestal you literally stop relating it to yourself but the minute that perfect person that you thought was perfect gives you a story and you're like oh no they feel that way too oh no they've went through that too immediately you're hooked into thank God this person's not perfect now I can listen to them and actually lock into what's going on I'm not in autopilot land thinking like I gotta do everything this person is telling me because they're perfect and just doesn't exist and if there's someone projecting that I would run from them as fast as I could especially if there's some sort of guru or leader please run from them because that's pure projection pure projection that is not true there's no way that is true so the deal is okay let's use the word vulnerable vulnerable is such an interesting word for me because if you look in the definition you know you look in the dictionary for the definition of vulnerable it's basically saying you're setting yourself up for a hit you're getting ready to receive a hit right and so I'm thinking to myself in this land of guruism right a gurus and leaders is like and everybody's everybody wants to use the word vulnerable as it's a powerful word in my opinion it's not cause if you're sharing yourself waiting for somebody to attack God that's a really shitty place to live yeah but so if you wanna use vulnerable as a powerful word you're okay sharing so you're not vulnerable because yeah you know you're not perfect you know it's okay to be this that and the other and you're not like vulnerable is not even in your a dictionary

[00:59:47] Suzie Price : I'm not setting myself up for hit cause if you're feeling horrible then that means you're stepping somewhere sooner than you're ready probably or sharing something sooner than maybe is safe exactly you know you're right time

[00:59:59] Douglas White : yeah put your toe in like no please don't don't pounce on me when I'm about to say this and come on now it's not like I haven't felt plenty vulnerable plenty times oh yeah me too speaking to people speaking to women I'm just saying everybody's talk about be vulnerable be vulnerable be vulnerable I'm like how about just get comfortable sharing yeah yeah be real

[01:00:22] Suzie Price : maybe that's a good thing being real honest and straight forward and exactly that's a whole different I love how you put take these things that are so accepted and you just kind of say wait a minute let's rethink that

[01:00:34] Douglas White : refill that again like what we talked about long time ago like words it's all to the individual and how they give and receive words I and I totally get that I just give this perspective as a way of like maybe you're listening right now and you've been using the word vulnerable for quite some time and it's keeping you stuck and now all of a sudden you go oh vulnerable feels like like this in my body but authentic feels like this genuine feels like this it feels like I can show up and just be me and say what I want to say and that's all I'm saying I'm not saying vulnerable is wrong not saying it's right not saying it's good it's not gonna be bad I'm just saying how do you hold that word how does it feel inside your body if it doesn't feel very good don't use the word anymore

[01:01:22] Suzie Price : and that being authentic or that genuineness does build connection'cause you're being real unbelievable not always when you're perfect you know you're not totally

[01:01:33] Douglas White : it's like I'm always scared I'm always I say always I'm sometimes scared to share myself to share my story because I'm scared of how I think others are gonna judge me and there's not one person has ever said anything to me other than gosh darn it Douglas I love how authentic and real and genuine you are about your way of being and now you're showing up in life and I'm like are you sure because God darn it I don't want to share this because I'm so scared of people just going this guy doesn't know what he's talking about

[01:02:07] Suzie Price : cause you tend to always open up yeah so maybe that's an old story you know when I heard you way back when I had to know who you were

[01:02:15] Douglas White : many moons ago that was many moons ago

[01:02:18] Suzie Price : I heard you speaking to this Abraham Hicks that we both have followed and I said who is that guy who is this person and so that was you being you and you're being authentic for sure so it definitely works it makes you memorable and real think about how it works for yourself whether anybody else gets it or not you have now been yourself

[01:02:38] Douglas White : you know totally true totally true with

[01:02:41] Suzie Price : you know I always say I can't be to anybody else cause I can't keep track of my other parts cause I'm not smart enough to do that you know if I don't be straight up I'll be just be in trouble cause I can't keep track of the storyline that's awesome last one there is no No. 16 there is no finish line there is simply what's the next experiment and so this is kind of in the context of so much of us so many of us are in this achievement gotta get somewhere as opposed to there's nothing wrong with that because that can pull us forward as a matter of how you feel around it I guess or how I would look at it maybe instead of maybe being so tied to that like they always say big hairy ass goal I've never enjoyed that be hag you know pick it's like yeah if that makes you feel good do it but meanwhile how about being curious and enjoying day to day and enjoying you know how you feel and say a little bit about all that

[01:03:33] Douglas White : well it's that whole deal of like you've heard this a million times you never get it done it's just one of those deals of how can you keep showing up and finding the joy in things how can you keep showing up and appreciating things how can you keep showing up knowing that you're an ever evolving being until the day that you you know transition over into non physical again there's nothing about this life that you're living that's ever gonna stand still even if we think it is it's not oh my gosh it is moving and shaking and doing doing all these things and so uh it's very interesting how we've taught ourselves this whole success achievement finish thing you know gosh the whole deal of quitting you can't start something and then walk away until it's your death that you finish it it's like well gosh if it's not bringing you joy anymore why can't you just put it down walk away and go do something else because you never know when it's gonna come back around again I have this woman in my life her name is Christy she's an amazing woman and she was doing acting and singing when she was younger I think it was in in her 20s or so and she dropped it because of the way she felt inside of it and the way she was holding and the way she was looking at it it didn't feel good to so she had to drop it and then she went on lived her life and did all these things and yada yada yada and now she's in her early 40s she just released an album it's an amazing album she loves singing again she loves doing but she's holding it from a space of this different emotional awareness she's not holding it from a perspective of right wrong good bad I did this well I didn't do this well are people gonna like it are people not gonna like it so on and so forth which was killing her before and so I think that's the thing it's like guys how are you holding it individually how are you experiencing life like there is no race going on that's all in your head if you wanna be the first to do something OK cool be the first to do something

[01:05:36] Suzie Price : but just be inspired around it not dogged and struggling and unhappy right

[01:05:42] Douglas White : yeah running over everybody deceiving everybody because you wanna be the first it's like yeah OK how does that feel

[01:05:49] Suzie Price : there is no finish line there is simply what's the next experiment mm hmm that does keep you in curiosity and openness yeah yeah

[01:05:58] Douglas White : I like and because there's always something more like that's the thing it's like you start a company right and you feel like oh this is what you wanted to be and then yeah and then it's like oh my God I never thought this was ever gonna happen this way I didn't know I was gonna go over here I didn't know I was gonna wanna do this I didn't know it and it's like well is that a failure is that something you did wrong because no it just grew and grew and grew to different experiments

[01:06:21] Suzie Price : very good and interesting when you talk to your players and kind of help them see that is that hard for them to get because they're they're like okay these are 20 however old are they when they're sure 25 and I have a career till I'm 30 sure so even that in within that time frame if they can find joy and interest and curiosity and know that there's gonna be other goal I don't know talk a little bit about that well yes

[01:06:46] Douglas White : so think about it this way because again like we think like cause we look at TV and we see all these professional athletes but what happened to cause the professional athlete is like 1% like whatever that percentage is and it's very very very very very very small so what happened to the other 99% okay well let's let's just break that down the other 99% some of them didn't realize like that's really not something they wanted to do they were driven by let's just say for lack of a better situation Yep family eagertistical type things right or yes family pushing some something like that but the bulk of the ones that are let's say in college who really do wanna play perfect let's say they really do but they don't make it most of those don't make it because they've turned it into something that feels so bad they have to step out of it they kept looking at it as if they're not enough so think about this if you're let's just say I'll just start at 18 but this starts at 12 I'm working with a 13 year old right now that can't stand himself when he strikes out so think about that he's 13 and he's gonna be 18 one day trying that's when he's eligible to get drafted once he's out of high school in between 13 and 18 are thousands of at bats thousands of pitches if you're not enough on half of those reps how do you ever get to where you want to be you completely hate the sport and you hate yourself and you hate the coaches and you hate the players and you hate everything about it you see what I'm saying like the momentum that you're building there it you can't get over that and so for me this is about re perspective thing that is definitely not a word but it's you know yeah you it's it's taking a look at it in a way of like how can I get out of my own way how can I find the joy in the love in the pursuit of the process the challenge so on and so forth so that the results are just a thing it's just a way I can use as objective feedback to measure how I wanna go in my process now how I wanna do my development plan and my workout plan and my training plan and these kind of things if you don't do that you're not gonna be there very long you're definitely if you get to professional level it's a miracle and you will not stay there very long if that's the deal and it happens every day I'm I'm talking to people and watching it and seeing and breathing it every single day and so it's a very real thing well when you think about somebody who's a supervisor right now and they wanna be a CEO so same thing you know matter what your age you know so I'm 25 I'm a supervisor and I'm really gearing for being the CEO and there is a great I mean if they are excited about that interested and that's their drive but somehow it becomes a grind along the way and they're always if they have these rigid goals they're always falling short and so they're bringing this

[01:09:56] Suzie Price : they're not bringing just a a a interested curious vivacious driven self to it they're bringing all anger and unresolved anger and frustration self doubt and so all of that walks in their on the backpack into the room every time they go do something so they're carrying that kinda like what you're saying with a 13 year old it you're gonna you're gonna stumble you're gonna not always make it but yeah so that is a tricky thing and I guess the way to create that or to get there is just understanding the bigger picture I mean I don't know how are you helping this 13 year old if you were yes as if you were talking to a supervisor who wants to be CEO how would you

[01:10:38] Douglas White : so with the 13 year old what I'm attempting to do is get him to understand he can actually have a relationship with himself so one of the things we did the other day I asked him I said you know what I want you to write an appreciation list about yourself cause through our conversations I'm like man I don't know if this guy really cares about himself or if he understands that he cares about himself because why would he be treating himself this way if he understood the relationship with himself and so it came up in the appreciation list it was awesome this kid did a great job he wrote seven things he's like I couldn't come up with 10 but I got seven I was like perfect he read seven and in all seven it was about his relationship to others it was about how he was able to care for others be respectful with others so on and so forth right and so I asked him I said but how do you feel about yourself what are you appreciating about you not necessarily how you care for others but how you're good at caring for your own value yes do do you understand that actually you can have that relationship you could literally have a relationship with yourself and so I asked him okay now here's your homework give me a list of how you take care of yourself and so then we you know that's next week right and so it's this whole deal of man I didn't realize the relationship with myself mattered that how I relate to myself treat myself talk to myself care about myself tend to myself so on and so forth is literally all I got it's the whole deal

[01:12:14] Suzie Price : cause we carry ourselves everywhere and I see it all the time in the Trimetrix assessment cause we measure the self view and you'll see adults CEOs sometimes even that you know or sense of self is low they're not valuing their self they're seeing all their identity through what they do what their title is yes so what happens is that kind of works but when the things hit the fan they turn in on themselves absolutely all of that is because you the foundation is your own sense of self and and you that's really what makes you resilient yes and so what we start teaching this young man that's amazing

[01:12:51] Douglas White : thank you thank you he's great but so this brings us full circle to what we started talking about at first is if you take mistakes failures wrong in our universe because so many people use those words and point those fingers if you take that as real if you take that that that's what life is you made a mistake you are wrong you are failing how do you feel inside about that how do you hold that so eventually it just breaks you down and so then you don't like what you're doing anymore and then you gotta go find something else and something else and something else not realizing it's how you're holding the thing you're doing and so yeah what I attempt to do with these athletes is re relationship themselves with the word mistake with the word wrong with the word failure in context to what's real inside of our universe not what a human being made up I know like sometimes that rubs people the wrong way we're like well but this is physical reality and you're a physical human being so why don't you come back to where we are and I'm like well because what I'm trying to tell you is where we are is what the universe is reacting interacting with us that's where we are so you do wanna know what that relationship is what that play is because physical reality is being shifted and changed based on your relationship to these laws not to what you think another human being said was correct doesn't work that way

[01:14:25] Suzie Price : so having the self understanding or self worth and walking through the world having that as opposed to not having it changes

[01:14:34] Douglas White : it changes everything so now a young man striving for a goal or a dream to make it to the big leagues who's in let's say senior in high school or in college and it's a ways off like that's just our physical reality that is a ways off you don't have any control over that part you have to allow the time for development to come if you throw 82 you gotta be training to get to 92 or 94 96 and so if along that road of training you're looking at it as well I'm not good enough well of course you're not good enough you're 16 years old those dudes are 30 year old men who've been training for 14 years longer than you like it was never gonna be for you at 16 we're good don't worry about it I have a young kid he was in the Dominican oh man these kids were so great I would go down to the Dominican for my job you know with the Astros being the coordinator this one kid Brian Abreu he's in the big leagues now killing it in the big leagues I met him when he was like 14 or 15 he looked like Bambi he threw 84 miles an hour 84 topping out at 84 and man did he compete he was like I'm doing all I can with my 84 right in the Dominican and the next thing you know like who knew that kid was gonna be in the big leagues throwing 84 miles an hour in the Dominican at like 14 15 years old here he is in the big leagues I can't I don't know his exact age right now but it's like mid 20s throwing 96 98 miles an hour he's a man he's filled out he's definitely not Bambi anymore and it's like who what's to say who's to say that that can't be for you but if you look at yourself through that series and through that journey not enough not enough not enough the universe will just keep finding ways to show you you're not enough

[01:16:28] Suzie Price : the way we're looking at ourselves is what how the universe is speaking back to us all the time that's why the gift

[01:16:33] Douglas White : might not be in a beautifully wrapped package but it's still a gift

[01:16:40] Suzie Price : alright so I think we're gonna wrap up so I want you to kind of you just shared some beautiful insights based on everything we've talked about today got your non neagertiables hahaha the universe is always giving us what we want one of my favorite things was about the pedestal land I so agree with you about the guru thing I experienced a guru early on in my life and boy was that a lesson and I can smell it and see it a million miles away I don't chase people to be on this podcast who carry that vibe and if they do it was a mistake that I got them on here you know so I love that you shared that you know the being real your genuineness and just this power of emotions so closing for now comments about emotions and emotional awareness and well being kind of whatever comes to your heart to close this with

[01:17:39] Douglas White : so let me say this you don't have to be a good person to get what you want in life that's all based on belief the universe is responding to a belief it's not if you're a good person or not this game that we're talking about today this you know this time that we've spent today this is about wanting to live a rich life from the inside out this is about like it's important to you to feel good and that's the thing that matters most and people are hurting in the world because of the way they're treating self and others because they want what they want at all costs and they gotta walk through people over people to get it and that's fine but that's not what we're speaking about and we're also not speaking about you can't have what you want if you wanna be a good person that's not it either but here's the difference between the two if you're just on the track of get what I want get what I want get what I want that's awesome but you're never truly listening to your soul so you don't even know what you want you think that's what you want that's eager driven if you really want to know what you want in life and what you're wanting to really experience the things that are gonna provide the fulfillment the satisfaction the true richness of your a reason of being that's a soul driven experience and the only way to connect to soul is to connect to how you feel and so that's why having emotional awareness is so important if you wanna live the richest life you could ever imagine from the inside out that's the only way I know of okay

[01:19:28] Suzie Price : that was beautiful I felt every bit of that and I hope I know that I don't just know I know that people looking for that message will find it and it's you know been a a joy to have you on today and to spend time with you I knew it way back when yeah you know I knew it way back when when I first heard you being authentic you were in the middle of your Major League Baseball career and you were asking all these questions and I was to the recordings and I'm like okay this person is very special thank you and and so genuine and so real and you've got such goodness to offer to the world and so thankful that you've been on the on the journey this year with us totally yeah appreciate it really a blessing so you know you help ball players but just a little mention of if there's leaders here today or parents or anyone here today said I wanna understand more about this or I'd like to meet up with Douglas sure talk a little bit about that I mean can they hire you as an emotional wellness awareness coach and tell us about

[01:20:41] Douglas White : I created a 10 week program that's ready to roll August 18th is the start date for the 10 week program

[01:20:48] Suzie Price : this is gonna go out in the next two weeks so it'll hopefully be me be before OK awesome

[01:20:52] Douglas White : the 10 week program is based on this it's I'm wanting to present a foundation for people in which to stand upon inside their life and so it's based on three relationships the relationship with the universe relationship with yourself meaning soul spirit source and the relationship with the outside world if you can have more clarity and understanding then you can get the access to the knowing the access to the embodiment and I think a lot of people right now are searching or missing or clock you know scratching you know that that kind of thing because there's a lot of misunderstandings going on inside of the world and I'm just wanting to bring some understanding some clarity to a lot of the misunderstandings a lot of the scatteredness that goes on out there and so I am not telling anybody what to do inside of this program I'm presenting and then we're discovering and we're integrating and that's how we do it for 10 weeks and then during the 10 weeks we have time for one on ones I'll do a 30 minute session at the beginning and at the end I feel very confident very very proud of the program and I also know that it's in the beginning stages because it's the first program that I've brought into the world since being in the best space I've ever been in my life I feel very good about the starting point of it and I can only imagine where it goes if I choose to continue with the program and so I want people who are ready willing able wanting to be in the space of what is next for me what's where's the more and if you're that person it doesn't matter what level you're at there's no you know what I mean it could be CEO of a freaking five billion dollar business or you could be just a loving not just you could be a loving mom you know of a five year old who wants to help guide them to their passion right and so it doesn't matter who you are it's just you want to have that desire though that wanting inside of yourself to the more if you got that we're good you'll enjoy the program if you don't have that it's it's not a fit

[01:23:02] Suzie Price : soak into the Douglas or Dougie energy which we like and love and value and appreciate yeah thank you thank you so much as always man

[01:23:13] Douglas White : it's my pleasure anytime you wanna chat I'm always up for it

[01:23:17] Suzie Price : alright I hope you enjoyed the our discussion today I'm gonna close it out with touching base on the 5 that we talked about and kind of giving a quick hit a Susie Quick hit and isn't Douglas a joy and isn't his honesty beautiful and his true intent of helping people find the freedom that he is finding and nothing better than being in the high world or in the world of high performance in the baseball Major League Baseball to understand the pressure to perform and so he is in my mind the best teacher for these types of things but I wanna just give kind of my quick take on the five and then I'm gonna do a summary and then I'm going to actually share for anybody who's interested I had picked some of the 30 statements at Priceless professional dot com forward slash emotional awareness I picked a handful and kind of gave my commentary and it'll be quick and then we'll close out so the five that Douglas and I discussed the number three of the 30 is joy is the matriarch of a family of emotions she won't come into your house if her children are not welcome and so my quick hit on that is all emotions matter and to squelch one squelches our ability to feel all so if we're determined we're not gonna be angry because that we you know don't don't like to be angry we don't wanna feel insecure we you know that we can't acknowledge how we're feeling and then say okay what message is this giving me and how can I move through it or work with it then we lose the ability to feel real joy you know if we squelch one end of the end of the stick if joy's on one stick and angry and self hatred is on the other end of the stick we can't feel them unless we know how to move through them

[01:25:03] Suzie Price : and we can't act like joy is the only thing that matters because there's a whole spectrum of emotions okay No. 24 that we talked about is if you're trying to manage other people's feelings you're abandoning your own my quick hit on that is trying to fix or change others can be us avoiding paying attention to our own life so I'll spend all my time trying to fix my children or fix my spouse and never really think about what matters to me and what I could be doing better and to me all of the focus is on us aligning with ourselves us finding our emotional freedom and it isn't all internal nasal gazing it's us knowing where we are so that we are in command of that and we can be present with others and so it's an internal journey and that internal journey allows us to be more available externally it's kind of been my understanding of that okay so another one that we talked about No. 11 is anger in its purity is beautiful my quick hit on that is when I'm angry or my spouse is angry or a colleague is angry something really matters something's really hit a point where it really matters and anger is up and so I have Learned from myself that I like when I feel angry because it means I really feel and this really matters so I had a angry discussion with a family member recently and it was okay like I was okay I was okay that I was upset and I was okay that she was upset and we just kind of just had our words and then we went to lunch and we we later on talked about it

[01:26:48] Suzie Price : I like that I've gotten to the point now that it's okay for me to feel something strongly like that and I'd rather have not had those angry words but you know what it was honest it was real and it allowed her to express things that I had not heard before because she would just not share and so I made her mad enough that she actually got mad enough to tell me what she really thought hahaha so anger can be okay and I enjoyed observing myself in the anger with this person and then realizing how much I got out of it and how the relationship is strong enough for us to be real with each other I mentioned that on the podcast too with my husband we are so close we're very different people but we're very close to each other and we really understand each other in a lot of ways so when we get angry it's like we're just mad in the moment and then we move on so anyway something healing about that and I don't know how I actually got there because that was not a Susie situation in my younger years but I have some ideas and we talk about them a lot and all the work we do but for now that's my quick hit on that one anger in its purity is beautiful

[01:27:57] Suzie Price : okay so No. 13 people don't want you to be perfect what they want to feel is connected to you so the quick hit from that brought to mind the Angelou Amaya quote I think she's attributed to it I'll forget what you said and did but I'll never forget how you made me feel so how do you make people feel you can be perfect and make people feel like oh my God you're so perfect and you're so doing everything accurate and you're holding yourself to such a high standard that nobody you know that's a whole all the messages as opposed to being real with people and connecting with them and so you know are you so busy being perfect that you can't see the person in front of you sometimes when we're trying to be perfect we're so self involved we can't really be present with the other person and I um have worked through that I'm gonna talk about that in a minute around anxiety so if we're feeling a lot of anxiety that means we're trying to be perfect and so it's really hard to be with people when we're in that mode um so that's a good lot of wisdom there and then No. 16

[01:28:54] Suzie Price : we discussed it with Douglas is there is no finish line there is simply what's next experiment um and I love the quick hit there for me is we are never wrong we can't get it done and we we're never wrong because we're never done and if we're done we've given up and that's from one of our favorite teachers or one of my favorite teachers for sure and I know it's impacted Douglas in his life over time is Abraham Hicks Publications but we're never wrong that's because we're never done there's always new opportunity and I think looking ahead is when I see people who are living long and well lives they're looking ahead they're not so backward looking there's always something that they're looking forward to and so no matter how big or small that is that is life giving that is energizing that is meaningful so always thinking about what's next what's next there's no finish line what's the next thing and if I can think of it as an experiment I don't bring kind of heavy like this is it I gotta get this exactly right I'm experimenting I'm curious I'm trying and that just lightens it and helps us enjoy it and knowing that it's exciting to have new ideas to move forward to and that we're never done and and if we are done then um we're probably checking out by that point you know we're we're at the end of our time those are my quick hits again from the list of 30 at Priceless professional. com forward slash emotional awareness now I picked out five more that I'm gonna share and just give some commentary and then we'll close it out

[01:30:23] Suzie Price : No.15 a statement from Joe Hudson's tweets endless self criticism is usually a sign that you want to be seen as valuable rather than to be of value so as I read these I look for things that hit me so the five that we talked about hit me and then these five that I'm sharing now are new ones but I think this one hit close to home saw this in my upbringing especially through my mom very much self criticism hard on herself had a hard time kind of coming out of and doing life still she's at 85 and still with us and still kind of not doing a lot of life in the world and and pretty hard on herself so I've carried this with me cause we do we are impacted by what we're surrounded by you know those things kind of impact our life you know this idea of being hard on myself striving to look valuable so how do I look what do you think instead of trying to just be of value and one of the starting points that I believe in retrospect especially based on having just done a podcast episode about the 7 habits of highly effective people is finding that book Cubby's book on the 7 habits of highly effective people and as a young adult starting to use his maturity model which is telling us you know we move from dependence to that which is needing approval to independence and that is knowing knowing who I am knowing that I don't need you to tell me I'm okay before I'm gonna take any action you know that I have something to offer and then I think self awareness is the turning point here it's about knowing'cause everybody has this value but sometimes if we don't have great role models that own this value we can't see it for ourselves so I'm not depending on you I'm not gonna sit and endless criticism is a disturbance away from seeing who I really am and I'm trying too hard externally to get validation than to find it from within by doing things that create value so that's where the doing comes in sometimes we can't see our value you know what I have seen when people are really really hard on themselves you start with helping them have some hope for the future the self direction and use the trimetric self direction is the hope for the future have ideas about what could be next for me and then taking action toward those ideas would be having more role confidence I know I have a place in this world and then the next thing that comes with that is pulling up our self confidence or self sense of self so I have something to offer so it's not about performing but it's showing up to serve and sometimes we have to have the idea the self direction and we have to perform before we can be fully present you know and and get out of that loop of endless self criticism alright so No. 22 is the next one if you feel oppressed the most powerful oppressor is the thought that you can't do anything about it if you feel oppressed the most powerful oppressor is the thought that you can't do anything about it and it ties to two other statements that Hudson makes in his list of 30 and it's No. 6 and seven and it is No. 6 is you can't give or receive love fully if you're constantly calculating what could go wrong so you can't be present with others if you're constantly worried about what they're thinking of you and if they're going to take their love away and No. 7 is you cannot love fully unless you see that you are completely empowered it is near impossible to love what you think oppresses you so it goes back to this actually it ties to the one I just discussed about moving out of dependence to independence knowing your value so this brings me back to kind of what I previously shared and also to a book that's had a lot of meaning to me and it's man's search for meaning by author and concentration camp survivor Victor Frankel and he talks about you know when he was in a concentration camp he realized between the stimulus what he was seeing and living and his choosing how he's going to respond there is a space and that that space is everything so same thing for us you know we get exposed to things we can stop and make a choice on how we're going to respond and so if we're feeling oppressed I mean who could have felt more oppressed than Victor Frankl in a concentration camp but his thought that he was oppressed is the thought you know was thinking I can't do anything about this when when we he actually had a choice and you know we have a choice so if we believe we don't have a choice we lose ourselves but I know for myself when I remember that I always have agency I always have choice I can begin again it's okay if I get lost and I think oh my gosh I'm stuck I can't do anything or some old patterns pop up well we can begin again we can love again we can lead again

[01:35:26] Suzie Price : and so I have this statement here each morning we are born again that we what we do today is what matters most it's Buddha and it's on my desk each morning we are born again what we do today is what matters most so we can begin again begin again begin again the sun is always going to come up tomorrow very optimistic thought and so we can do things again and we need to remember we do have choice and we can begin again and that empowerment isn't loud you know this idea of choosing again is a very quiet thing that we decide to do to choose not to feel oppressed or to acknowledge that hey I feel oppressed but now I'm gonna do something about it so empowerment isn't loud it's quiet grounding and fiercely freeing

[01:36:13] Suzie Price : No.23 if you struggle with paying attention what was the quality of attention you got as a child now our whether we want to believe it or not I see it all day every day with people and through myself and I've read about it and seen it through all kinds of psychologists and all kinds of writings but whatever we experience between the ages of five and 20 um become kind of our our framework um and can drive our decisions and what matters to us so or what we're struggling with so the question again No. 23 out of these 30 is if you struggle with paying attention what was the quality of attention you got as a kid and it's like whoa right between the eyes I used to freeze with anxiety anytime I had to speak or present I was in choir I was in all kinds of things growing up in school I was in plays in college I taught aerobics I was in front of the room I mean all these things growing up I was in the front of the room out of college I ended up being in human resources and speaking and presenting to groups and then I start my business and I always would freeze with anxiety I mean like but I still did it I chose to do it all the time so it's really making me crazy that I had these problems with this and so years and years ago it took me years to trace my fear my anxiety back to my early years and once I saw it and realized okay everything began to shift and I think it was this idea of the quality of attention my folks were doing the best they could do and it's all good and I love them but they also didn't get attention so sometime you know I've talked about that already before but anyway one of the tools that really helped me and I did a podcast episode on it is speaking circles um it helped me learn to advocate for myself coaching helped as well but just knowing that I could learn to advocate for myself without panic was life changing and it's changed my level of anxiety to almost nothing now I have a level of intensity that other people don't have but then a lot of people don't desire to be in front of people and that is my work and so anyway this kind of healing helped me in a way you know I I rewrote the past recreated new kind of pathways in my energy or in my focus in the way I be and then the speaking circles was a big part of it and they teach something called relational presence how to be present without all the monkey mind running around how can you be in the moment with people and it's podcast episode 25 you'll see it in the show notes using the power of relational presence to engage and influence it's so much more than that it was a key part of closing the loop for me and I was probably middle aged when I started doing this so check that out see our show notes priceless professional dot com forward slash emotional awareness if any of that speaks to you

[01:39:11] Suzie Price : alright No. 27 unconditional love isn't pleasing people pleasing or caretaking unconditional love isn't people pleasing or caretaking it's the capacity to hold space for others choices while honoring your own truth so can you this is says to me can I be with people even if they are choosing things that are very different than my own still know what I know and still value them for whatever they are thinking or doing you know real love means letting go letting go of control you know sometimes we think if I judge you or if I fix you or if I hold on really tight to you that's love but it's really letting go of control of judgment of fixing you know and so one funny way that I'll remind myself of this and sometimes I'll even say it out loud if I feel myself kind of listening to someone I'm coaching or family member and kind of wanting to do that thing you know I want to tell them something that I think they need to know and trying to get myself to hold back from doing that if at some point I do say something I'll jokingly say and mean it I make suggestions you make decisions you know if they've asked me for advice and that funny wisdom is you know basically I'm gonna suggest something because you asked for my input or maybe I can't manage myself and can't help myself but make this suggestion but it allows me to at least make the suggestion in a less tight fisted way and say you make the decision and that funny wisdom is from the philosopher a peloton instructor he's not really a philosopher but he does do a lot of philosophy from the bike and from his yoga classes is Dennis Morton but it's you know the best support I can give is to trust people with their own path and love them without trying to reroute them to the path I think they should take so you know unconditional love is about allowing people to be who they are and still knowing who you you are and I'm gonna do a future podcast or two on something called emotional interviewing and it is this respectful person centered approach to communication that leaders can use psychologists use it and coaches use it and it helps individuals explore their own reasons for change without pressure or persuasion so how do I be with people instead of trying to direct them or fix them motivational interviewing often referred to as MI is about being present with someone listening deeply and that that is the medicine the being present and listening deeply so that their inner motivation or truths come out they're not being managed by me or you or whoever's listening to them it's not about changing people it's about creating the space for them to choose to change for themselves that's a whole another level of interviewing or listening or being present and it's a whole another level of love it creates um there's quite a lot that we need to do

[01:42:14] Suzie Price : so it really matches this No. 27 statement by Joe Hudson last statement that I'll pull up and then we'll close it out judging others for showing off is often an indication that we're struggling with our own desire to be seen now this is one cause I'm just telling on myself here but it made me laugh a little bit and kind of squirm because I recently unfollowed somebody on Instagram because of her constant look at me videos and I remember even saying to my husband you know I used to like this person but it kind of bugged me it's like she's saying look at me look at me um and then when I read this I'm like oh oh am I struggling with my own desire to be seen uh so I think that's pretty interesting we'll see I won't over analyze it too much or judge myself but maybe I'm projecting you know I love what I do and I do do am okay with being seen and heard I'm okay I just have to express so I don't know maybe her post weren't a problem and maybe I just need to give myself more permission to shine I have been playing with doing more personal post and and maybe that's a piece of that is like oh that just feels like a little too much I can do it on the podcast but I'm just not so sure about doing it on social media post so all of that is interesting and so I just had to share my favorites some of them are very self revealing I hope that you enjoy the episodes I hope you'll check them out at Priceless professional. com forward slash emotional awareness remember how you lead matters we're gonna lead with purpose we're gonna reduce the drama and keep building our wake up your lives one step at a time one choice at a time that's doing the same thing with our wake up eager workforce we're going to continue to use these tools and know that it's all you know what's next we're never gonna be done we're always evolving and doing and look forward to the future and the next thing that we can do to make things better and little steps are good steps 1% a day and in 70 days were twice improved so if you found value today be sure to follow like and share the wake up bigger workforce podcast please share it with your team and on social media and tag me take care and I'll see you on the next episode

[01:44:29] OUTRO : this episode of the Wake Up Eager Workforce podcast was brought to you by Priceless Professional Development thank you for tuning in if you enjoyed today's show head over to Priceless professional.com to gain access to more professional development resources