Deep Listening: Impact Beyond Words
With Author Oscar Trimboli
Overview of Episode #65 ---
- Why deep listening is so tricky for us.
- How to double your listening productivity and get back 4 hours a week with 3 simple phrases.
- How 4 unconscious Listening Villains get in your way.
- How to bring your best listening self to every interaction with these 3 actions.
Timing on Recording: @ 7:54 ---
Topic 1: Why is Listening So Important?
- You recognize that your greatest strength could be your greatest weakness/blind spot.
- Deep listening is the ability to listen beyond the words, to listen beyond what's spoken, to be able to add context and meaning, to listen to what's not being said.
- When you are hearing in a determined and energetic way, you demonstrate your desire to understand, you ask questions, you don't have an agenda, you are just there to listen.
- There are 2 views: There is the worldview, how clearly we think and feel and work in the world. And then there is the self-view, how clearly we think and feel about ourselves.
- 55% of our time is spent listening, but it's a skill that only 2% of us really grasp.
- Listening is our birthright. We forget that listening was one of the first skills we learned. We are encoded to be deep listeners.
- The first skill you will ever learn inside your mother's womb is the skill of listening, we spend the rest of our lives trying to scream to get noticed and all we want to do is be heard.
Timing on Recording: @ 21:16 ---
Topic 2: Why is Deep Listening So Tricky For Us?
- We don't have classes in listening.
- The more Senior you are, the more you need to be a great listener. If you talk to any successful Senior Executive, if they are asked to give a class on leadership, the first thing they are going to say is that you have got to learn to listen.
- The ratio from public speaker to listener courses it 50:1. We do not spend a lot of time highlighting listening. On average in our career, we will go to 5-7 classes for being a speaker, and none for listening.
- We speak at approximately 125 words per minute. We listen at 400 words per minute and we think at 900 words per minute. When somebody is talking, we could listen to a whole lot more words if they would go faster, except they are typically speaking at 125 words per minute. So there is a lot of room to get distracted. Also, if we think at 900 words per minute, but we can only get out 125 words per minute, the chances are good that when we are expressing something that the first thing we say or share may not be what we mean.
- We have a low, 11% chance of saying what we mean and that this is the biggest barrier to communication.
- 125/900 rule: You start to understand what the biggest barrier is to listening, which is making sure that the person said what they meant.
Timing on Recording: @ 26:23 ---
Topic 3: How To You Double Your Listening Productivity and Get Back 4 Hours a Week With 3 Simple Phrases.
- “Tell me more.”
- “What else?”
Timing on Recording: @ 37:47 ---
Topic 4: What are the 4 Villains of Listening?
- The Dramatic Listener - The dramatic listener loves your story cause it's a stage that they have to tell their stories on.
- The Interrupting Listener - The moment you draw a breath, it's their commercial break to give you their opinion.
- The Lost Listener - Distracted before they come to the conversation and still, some of them, are distracted while you are in the conversation.
- The Shrewd Listener - “Is this really what your problem is? That is such a basic problem.”
Timing on Recording: @ 42:36 ---
Topic 5: How to Bring Your Best Listening Self to Every Interaction.
- Remove distractions.
- A hydrated brain is a listening brain.
- Take 3 deep breathes.
Timing on Recording: @ 47:38 ---
Topic 6: What are 6 Benefits to Deep Listening?
- Puts us in a better position to help.
- Enables learning and discovery.
- Allows us to see the full picture from the other person’s perspective,
- The speaker feels valued and understood.
- You have a more stable ad fulfilling relationship.
- You gain a true understanding and the ability to uncover unseen issues.
Contact Oscar Trimboli:
LinkedIn: Oscar Trimboli
Links Mentioned in the Podcast:
Wake Up Eager Wednesday
You Tube Video: Little Suzie
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