It's easy to get stuck when you want to change a habit and make progress in something that's important to you. Changing long held habits in areas like everything from health and fitness goals to communication and leadership skills to improving family connections and closeness - can be challenging to change.
Changing life-long habits, especially those things you’ve been doing your entire life - like eating, exercise, communication and interacting with others, does not seem easy. Often, in search of answers you decide to get advice, read a book or take a class. While it's great to take action - it usually does not work out...
“FitnessNut”, that’s the online name of a women on a fitness and life coaching online group where I'm a member. She's an active participant who has had over 3,500 conversations in this forum, which means she's getting A LOT of advice about fitness!
In this recent online post, I could feel her anguish as she desperately begged for help: "Someone please help!! I'm so frustrated, I've gained weight, I'm not eating right and I've not worked out in weeks! Anyone out there have some advice for me?!?!"
I felt bad for her. I know how hard it can be to move forward when you're stuck. But, she doesn’t need more fitness advice - she's received hundreds of hours of advice from this fitness & life coaching online group - in fact she’s drowning in advice.
But, she IS stuck and something IS holding her back. She needs something, but what?
In another example of how more advice and knowledge works against us we have Harry. Harry's a leader in the technology industry. He's has been struggling with how to lead his team. He knows the business. He knows technology. He doesn't know how to manage people.
Two key members of his team just quit. In their exit interviews they blame Harry. Harry's panicked. He doesn't want to lose the rest of the team, and most importantly he does not want to lose his job!
There's limited money in the budget for a leadership coach or for a training class, so he is reading books on leaderships. Harry jumped right in. Being the good student that he is - he has a written development plan. He's learned so much that he can even quote key passages from all the latest leadership best sellers.
However, after six months his team believes there's been no improvement, and two more key players leave. Harry might lose his job. Just like "FitnessNut" - Harry's neck-deep in information and he's STILL stuck on old unwanted patterns and habits.
Why a solid business and life coaching online program is so strong and why more knowledge is usually NOT much help:
#1: CONVINCE YOURSELF No matter what kind of self-improvement plan you're interested in, you must first: Convince Yourself. This involves making a deep personal connection with whatever you’re planning to change. The importance of convincing yourself is very powerful and often gets overlooked.
Here’s how you convince yourself - it's the difference between business and life coaching online success or failure:
If you keep answering the question, it's like peeling an onion. You’ll eventually ‘get to’ the real benefit of the goal to you. This very simple exercise will help you convince yourself of the value of what you want, at a much deeper, more meaningful level.
Keep your list with you and re-read your list of benefits, and add to it, every day. Don’t stop reading it. Use this to rev up, shore up and keep your focus and commitment strong.
When you convince yourself you won’t need more advice or pushing from others. You’ll decide for yourself and you’ll take ownership of your goal. That’s powerful.
#2: PICK ONE AREA AND ATTACK IT! High achievers have a glaring tendency to over commit. They want to improve EVERYTHING. Then they get overwhelmed, frustrated and either give up or post a desperate message in a forum.
That's why I recommend that you pick ONE development opportunity and attack it. Work with how your brain learns and changes habits. If you want to reach your goals, focus on ONE area at time. If you truly are ATTACKING this area – you’ll meet that goal and be ready for the next one, making fast and furious progress.
Remember, pick ONE area and ATTACK it.
#3: BE BOLD AND ADVERTISE Tell everyone what you are working, share with anyone who will listen.