I created a simple, seven-question, online free relationship quiz. This Quiz and the Three Universal Truths about friends came about due to my own "friend" challenges.
These tools have helped me, and can help you, make this Statement (from the Wake Up Eager Re-Calibrate Daily Habit Area) as Very True:
"I do not have any relationships that drag me down."
On a Scale from 1-10 (1=Not True At All to 10=Very True) how would you rate yourself right now?
When I first created all of this I was probably a 6. Today, by applying these tools and staying focused on what it takes to create my own Wake Up Eager personal and professional life, I'm a 10. (And, let me tell ya' - getting this to Very True - a 10 - makes a big difference every day...)
Awhile back past-work-friends called and wanted to get together for dinner. I felt torn. I use to like to hang-out with these people, but the last few times we'd gotten together, afterward I felt drained and weary. My struggle went something like this,
I go because of our history together? Am I obligated?
Am I a jerk for not wanting to go? Am I being too picky and a bad friend?"
If you have 'drainers' in your life, you might recognize my dialogue with myself. (Am I the only one who talks to herself??) The Free Relationships Quiz & the Three Truths have helped me look more objectively at myself and at all the relationships in my life.
"Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is
made by the friends we choose." Tennessee Williams
This free relationship quiz WILL help you be more objective about who you spend time with, but please keep in mind that knowing when you've got a friend, is an art. That is, there is no one single answer that anyone else can answer for you about what you should do about friends who drain you.
Use my free relationship quiz to help you sort out your friends' type: Can't Live Without; Need Occasionally; and Never Want. Relationships are often complicated. Taking this objective view can help you sort out a plan of action.
Before you begin the free relationship quiz pick one friend to focus on each time you take this one minute quiz. Take it as often as you like, assessing one friendship at a time.
Did you assess several friends with the Quiz? Were any of them rated on the lower end of the scale as someone who drains you more than uplifts you? The in-exact 'art of friendship' is revealed in the free relationship quiz. There are numerous dynamics and nuances to every friendship; we often have mixed emotions about our friends.
My Real-Life Example #1 - Jane, Drainer, or Maybe Not... I remember 15 years ago complaining to my then-boyfriend, now-husband, Jeff, about my friend Jane. We'd met at work and spent a lot of time together. After being with her I would often whine, "She wears me out. It's like she sucks all the energy out of the room!"
Years went by. We changed jobs. She moved. We both got married. Eventually we just lost contact with each other. Then, through the magic of online social networking, we started 'talking' again. She was back in the same city. We decided to get together for the first time in 4 years.
Jeff remembered my previous whining, and asked, "Are you sure you want to do that?" I ignored my past frustrations and my dear husband, and with only slight hesitation, I met Jane for dinner.
We spent four hours laughing, talking and sharing. We had the best time! I felt energized and jazzed after seeing her again. What a great friend! She was amazing and fun! Today, she'd score high on the Free Relationship Quiz! What had changed? Was it me? Was it her? Was it just time passing?
Here's another friend scenario that sheds insight into the Three Friend Universal Truths, covered in Page 2 of this Article.
My Real-Life Example #2 - Neighbor, Trouble? Or What? My neighbor feeds my cat, gets my mail and is VERY helpful to us when we go out of town or if I ever need anything. We're not close friends, but she's a great neighbor to us. She's loyal and someone I can depend on.
We live in a pretty big neighborhood and I think almost every person on our street has gotten into a fight with this neighbor, except us. It seems like she's not on speaking terms with anyone else on our street. And, if I let the other neighbors gossip about her with me, they will.
Why do my husband and I get along with this person when she fights with every one else? We're definitely not 'saints' and are NOT perfect (not even close...) Plus, I have a huge temper and have been know to be totally impatient with mean or rude people. What gives? On the next Page I'll share insights about these two personal examples, information that will help you decide how to proceed with your friend's Quiz Results.
On Page 2 you'll also find out why managing 'drainers' matters to Wake Up Eager Leaders you can also share your Comments and Insights about Friends and Drainers.
"Our greatest joy-and our greatest pain comes in our relationships with others."
Stephen R. Covey