"I do not have any relationships that drag me down."
On a scale from 1 to 10, how true is this statement true for you, with 1 Not True At All and 10 Very True?
I created a simple, seven-question, online free relationship quiz and Three Universal Truths about friends years ago when I had some friends who were draining. When I started focusing on shifting this, I rated myself a six out of ten.
Today, by applying these tools and staying focused on what it takes to create my own Wake Up Eager personal and professional life, I'm a ten. And, let me tell ya' - getting this to Very True - a ten - makes a big difference every day.
A while back, past-work-friends called and wanted to get together for dinner. I felt torn. I used to like to hang out with these people, but the last few times we'd gotten together; afterward, I felt drained and weary. My struggle went something like this,
"Should I go because of our history together? Am I obligated? Am I a jerk for not wanting to go? Am I being too picky and a bad friend?"
You might recognize my inner struggle if you have 'drainers' in your life. The questions in the Free Relationships Quiz & the Three Relationship Truths have helped me look more objectively at myself and all the relationships in my life.
This free relationship quiz WILL help you be more objective about who you spend time with, but please remember that knowing when you've got a friend is an art. That is, there is no single answer that anyone else can answer for you about what you should do about friends who drain you.
Before you begin the free relationship quiz, pick one friend to focus on each time you take this one-minute quiz.
Please take it as often as you like, assessing one friendship at a time.
Click the button below. You will get the results immediately.
What does the word FRIEND mean? Here is the official definition. Pay attention to all of the positive statements.
I love this way of describing the three different types of friends. I want mostly one's and I'm okay with some two's!
Use my free relationship quiz to help you sort out your friends' type: Can't Live Without, Need Occasionally, and Never Want. Relationships are often complicated. Taking this objective view can help you sort out a plan of action.
I've also discovered that relationship dynamics shift and change. Here's an example of a relationship that evolved as we both evolved.
Did you assess several friends with the Quiz? Were any of them rated on the lower
end of the scale as someone who drains you more than uplifts you? The free relationship quiz reveals the in-exact 'art of friendship.' Every friendship has numerous dynamics and nuances; we often have mixed emotions about our friends.
My Real-Life Example #1 - Jane, Drainer, or Maybe Not...
I remember complaining to my then-boyfriend, now-husband Jeff, fifteen years ago about my friend Jane. Jane and I had met at work and spent much time together. After being with her, I often whined, "She wears me out. It's like she sucks all the energy out of the room!"
Years went by. We changed jobs. She moved. We both got married. Eventually, we just lost contact with each other. Then, through online social networking, we started 'talking' again. She was back in the same city. We decided to get together for the first time in four years.
Jeff remembered my previous whining and asked, "Are you sure you want to do that?" I ignored my past frustrations and my dear husband, and with only slight hesitation, I met Jane for dinner.
We spent four hours laughing, talking, and sharing. We had the best time!
I felt energized and jazzed after seeing her again. What a great friend! She was unique and fun! Today, she'd score high on the Free Relationship Quiz! What had changed? Was it me? Was it her? Was it just time passing?
Here's another friend scenario that sheds insight into the Three Friend Universal Truths, covered on Page 2 of this Article.
My Real-Life Example #2 - Neighbor, Trouble? Or What?
My neighbor feeds my cat, gets my mail, and is VERY helpful when we go out of town or if I ever need anything. We're not close friends, but she's a great neighbor. She's loyal and someone I can depend on.
We live in a big neighborhood, and almost every person on our street has fought with this neighbor except us. She's not on speaking terms with anyone else on our street. And, if I let the other neighbors gossip about her with me, they will.
Why do my husband and I get along with this person when she fights with everyone else?
We're not 'saints' and are NOT perfect (not even close...) Plus, I have no tolerance for mean or rude people. What gives? On the next page, I'll share insights about these two personal examples, information that will help you decide how to proceed with your friend's Quiz Results. Go to: The Three Universal Truths in Relationships, Page 2. On this page, you'll also find out why managing 'drainers' matters to Wake Up Eager Leaders.