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Peace Love Happiness:
How I Turned My Cranky Christmas Mood Around

Ramona asked me, “Do you always feel peace love happiness and energy? You seem so 'cheerful' when I see you. Don’t you ever just feel tired and cranky? Don't you ever just wake up on the wrong side of the bed?”

My reply, "Definitely! I focus on creating good feeling days, it's important to me. But, I have my cranky days too.

In fact, let me tell you about..."

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...One Christmas I'd Like to Forget!

(To read, comment and rate 50+ Christmas Positive Attitude tips from Wake Up Eager Community members. Click Here)


grumpy girl

My finger throbbed like someone was beating it with stick.

My teeth chattered loudly, like one of those wind-up false teeth toys.

I raced into the house to escape the cut-you-to-the-bone 20 degree below wind chill.

I didn’t even take off my coat as I walked straight to the bar.

My brother-in-law Tom was there with a knowing look. He handed me a glass of wine and we exchanged our annual banter,

“How’s going it Tom?”

Tom bantered back in his usual glib and funny way,
“Oh I’m just doing what I’m told to do Suzie.”

I toasted Tom and boisterously announced our arrival,

“Merry Christmas Everybody!
Peace love happiness and joy to all!”

Christmas 2005 at my sister-in-laws house in Carmel, Indiana.

"He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree."
---Roy L. Smith

I’d slammed my finger in the car door that morning at Jeff’s parent’s house.

The pain in my finger matched my mood perfectly.

Internally I felt bruised and empty. Externally I felt tired and banged up. I didn’t feel anything close to peace love happiness or joy that day.

How did I get here? Where did I “lose” my ‘I want feel peace love happiness and joy’ wake up eager direction? How had I managed to create such a cranky mood at Christmas?

I drank too much wine and ate too much food throughout the day. I never got around to feeling much better.

Thank goodness Jeff’s family has known me since 1993, and they love me, or I’m sure they'd never invite me back!

Back home I nursed my finger and the cold I'd caught. Both borne out of me not taking care of my mood, my energy, or myself.

Over the next few weeks I worked my way back to feeling more 'sunny, peace love happiness and joy' feelings.

From this better feeling attitude and mood, I reflected on what I’d created. I could see the trail I took to get there...
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How I Created This Cranky Christmas

how to get inspiration
  • I’d booked a training class in Pittsburgh in mid-December. I hate the cold and really didn’t want to do it, but they needed me then, so I agreed to their schedule.

  • I took on additional assessment business. It was last minute, rushed and I didn't really have time, but they needed my help.

  • I felt guilty because we weren’t going to S.C. at Christmas (where my folks live), so we squeezed in a trip over there.

  • I’d agreed to a dinner party with retired family friends at Reynolds Plantation. They depend on us and were anxious to see us for the holidays.

  • We went to three different Christmas parties. Only one was full of people I really wanted to spend time with, the others felt like obligations.

  • I’d attended several group luncheons because I thought they expected me to be there.

"There is no ideal Christmas; only the one Christmas you decide to make as a reflection of your values, desires, affections, traditions."
---Bill McKibben

I could add more to my, ‘How I Lost my Peace Love Happiness and Joy Self and Created a Cranky Christmas Mood in 2005’ list, but I think you probably get the point.

The Bottom Line

Bottom line: I’d stopped taking stock of what was best for me and my life.

I tried to please, soothe, help and serve everyone else. In my desire to be all things to everyone I was not emotionally energetically available to anyone.

All that ‘yes’ing’ led to a burned out I-have-nothing-left-to-give feeling. All of which led to a perfect collision for a throbbing finger, a cold and too much wine, food and sulking.
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Y.E.S. - Three Positive Attitude Tips for More Peace Love Happiness and Joy

I’m happy to report that I’ve not had another cranky, 'I hate Christmas' since.

I even like Christmas again!

These simple, but not easy, tips are crucial and help me, time and time again, create more peace love happiness and joy in my life. They work in any area of life - at work, in weight loss and around troubled relationships.

Be sure to share YOUR cranky Christmas stories,
tips, thoughts about these tips here.

See what other visitors shared, here.
  1. Y-Say yes to, embrace, acknowledge, express and write about how you really feel.

    Don't pitch a tent and stay there, but just be honest with yourself.

    This honesty will help you begin to move out of your 'mood' and eventually help you make new decisions and changes.

    Any time anyone is eating, drinking or doing anything too much, it's origins can always be found in stuffed, unacknowledged, unexpressed feelings.

    I was exhausted and overwhelmed which I didn't acknowledge.

    I just kept slapping on my happy face and offering false, but positive thoughts and words.

    If I had acknowledged how I really felt, if I'd been more honest with myself, I could have made new decisions along the way before I landed in the cranky Christmas ditch.

    Acknowledging the truth, saying Yes to how you really feel, helps you to craft a plan to create something new and different in the future.

    “I am where I am, and where I am is really good. Knowing where I really am, in this moment, helps me get to where I really want to go.”

  2. E-Empower Yourself, Decide to Take Ownership.

    When you've embraced how you really feel, you can move past it, with much less blame or judgment. You can move forward more quickly taking ownership of what you can change.

    The only person you can control is yourself.

    When you decide that you're in charge of what you say yes to, and how you focus your mind and spend your time, it's easier to begin making more decisions for yourself that help you lean toward more peace love happiness and joy.

    “I am responsible for how my life turns out, and that means I will make more deliberate decisions about how I focus my mind and my time.”

  3. S-Selfishness, Doing What Feels Good Is Love.

    If you unconsciously say yes to things, just to please others while ignoring what pleases you, you'll run around empty, tired, cranky, AND you'll eat and drink too much.

    If you are selfish enough to tune into what you need to feel and live with peace love happiness and joy, then you'll be full of love and life with more to give others.

    Embracing selfishness makes sure that you have something of yourself to give to others. You must decide that feeling good and happy is worth something. I’ve come to believe it’s, in fact, everything.

    "The best gift I can give others is my own peace love happiness and joy, and I can't give it,
    if I don't have it."

"Christmas, children, is not a date. It is a state of mind."
---Mary Ellen Chase

That's my formula for getting and keeping peace love happiness and joy within.

When we're cranky and tired, we haven't lost our love peace happiness and joy, we just have to use Y.E.S. to cultivate and grow it.
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Say Y.E.S. to more Peace Love Happiness and Joy in your life.Click here for peace love happiness and joy, Wake Up Eager products that I recommend.

These are products and services I recommend and use. Give the gift of your own peace love happiness and joy to the ones you love this holiday season.

Hit Me Up With Your Cranky Christmas Stories,
Comments, Insights and Tips...

Enter your comments, here.

See what other visitors shared, here.

Am I the only one who's lost their joy at Christmas? Have you struggled in this area too? What kinds of things do you do to keep joy in your life during the holidays? Have you discovered what works and what doesn't?

What do you think about being more selfish? Do you agree or disagree with my formula? Do you have any tips that would benefit others who are suffering stress over the holidays?

Help grow the Wake Up Eager community by sharing your experiences, insight, questions and more here. Note: I am not collecting emails from this page.

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What Other Wake Up Eager Community Members Have Shared...

Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page...

I LOVE Christmas, Here's Why and How...  starstarstarstarstar
OK, I have to admit that I truly like Christmas, which is not to say that I have never had a meltdown related to the season. Once my mother jokingly suggested ...

This Absolutely Mandatory for Us...  starstarstarstarstar
I find it absolutely mandatory to do something for someone less fortunate. My husband has been in and out of employment for 9 years, so Christmas has been ...

23 Kinds of Cookies Not Needed, Really...  starstarstarstarstar
1. Don't complicate, but rather simplify. You really don't have to bake 23 kinds of cookies, or any for that fact, if you have a good bakery. AND you don'...

It's All About Love  starstarstarstarstar
What great comments! Each year, we simplify the holidays a little more.

It is not about things but about people. Although we do buy gifts for immediate ...

Perfect Poem and Calming Thoughts  starstarstarstarstar
Perfect timing! Here's what my friend Paul S. shared with me just today:

"Christmas (calming thoughts...a few more than 3 tips, but worthy)

To your ...

Don't Go Overboard  starstarstarstarstar
I think we have been "conditioned" to go overboard at Christmas with all the "must do's" Baking, cooking, etc...when my children were small, I was the ...

Remain Calm  starstarstarstarstar
Christmas is one of my favorite holiday's we just need to remain calm and not stress around the crowds.

Be thankful and grateful and give to the ones ...

Be Where It All Started...  starstarstarstarstar
Tip One Live in Jerusalem
Tip Two Live in Israel
Tip three Spend the entire season in the land where the whole thing started

Hank Shrier
Visionary ...

Complaining is Not Conversation!  starstarstarstarstar
I was at a meeting yesterday when someone read a list of her tips for life (not just the holidays) and one in particular struck me...Complaining is Not ...

Making Less Commitments - That's My Commitment  starstarstarstarstar
I can relate. With work, home, kids and travel - my Christmases have begun to feel like a chore. I'd like to be more selfish, like you talk about, but ...

Keep It Simple, Keep It Real  Not rated yet
I know we're well into January - but I wanted to share my Christmas experience which came in handy this past December Holiday and travel season.

Over ...

Don't Compromise  Not rated yet
In general I prefer either to travel or to work during Christmas time. I almost don't have any family, and the ones that are left live far away, so it ...

Cook, Visit, Give and Puppies  Not rated yet
I cook and cook and invite and invite. I fix 'plates' for my neighbors - especially those less fortunate than myself.

Single mom: "HEY! You don't have ...

Treat It Like A Project Plan...  Not rated yet
Treat it like a project plan - list the scope and deliverables and due dates.

Big tips for many people - don't be afraid to ask for help - you don'...

Embrace the Griswalds, Messy and Love  Not rated yet
Here are three things I've learned over the years:
1. Ditch your unrealistic expectations. If you're like most people, your Christmas is likely to be ...

Great Web Site  Not rated yet
For those interested in the religious aspects of Christmas, the Web site: http://www.adventconspiracy.org/ has some good ideas.

For everyone, remember ...

Just One Word  Not rated yet
Yoga




SUZIE'S COMMENTS...
Hey Diane,

Appreciate the reminder about exercise, movement, reflection, time for self - all in your one ...

Volunteer, Rest, Say NO  Not rated yet
My Tips would be as follows:
1. Volunteer somewhere in your community to serve those who are less fortunate to keep you perspective on the things that ...

Two Weeks Off  Not rated yet
My one big tip is to save some vacation time and take the last two weeks of December off to enjoy the Holidays without the stress of work.

Chad Harris,...

Plan, Limit Annoying People Time, Ask...  Not rated yet
My top three tips are:
1. Plan early. Whether it's that something special for dinner or that toy your child's been wanting, don't wait until the last ...

Shop After and All Year  Not rated yet
I know I am little late in responding, but thought I'd share mine:

1) Listen to Holiday Music - it really helps puts you in the spirit!

2) Do something ...

Rockwell vrs. Reality  Not rated yet
A simple thought to keep in mind is "Rockwell vs Reality". When becoming stressed about any activity this holiday season remember life is not a Norman ...

My Cranky Christmas Story and What Would Help  Not rated yet
One of those weeks: Several people suddenly couldn't come to work. My newsletter was due out yesterday. Several customers' orders were falling through ...

Service and Networking  Not rated yet
Help serve a group like CARITAS by serving them meals, playing games with them, or just plain out swapping stories. Groups like these also always need ...

Iron Out the Kinks By... Motivation Pearls  Not rated yet
One of three best ways I know to keep from being kranky over the holidays are to focus on bringing joy into the lives of others - you don't have to go ...

News Puts It In Perspective for Me  Not rated yet
Great question. I have always been a great believer in watching the news, not only for information, but also to help me put things in perspective. By watching ...

Four Days - The M agic Number - Trust Me...  Not rated yet
The New York Times had a great article that would bode well to this post a few years back.

I can't recall the exact title, or all the content, but the ...

My Top Three Tips...  Not rated yet
1) pick names 2) shop online 3) remember the meaning of the holiday

Jennifer Johnson
Director of Marketing and Recruiting

Fitness Expert: DON'T Start Now...  Not rated yet
1) Don't start a diet or exercise program during the holidays because of guilt over NOT doing so the rest of the year. If you can't get to the gym in February ...

Get Clear  Not rated yet
My top tip is to focus on what the holiday is really about - is it about the perfect presents, food, decorations, etc. or is it about being with family,...

Keep the Picture...  Not rated yet
Yes, doing someone for someone else is a must, and also keeping expectations realistic.

If you picture what you don't want to happen at Christmas (ie ...

Music and Early Shopping  Not rated yet
1. Always have my favorite Christmas CD playing in the car, at home or at work.
2. Shop for Christmas gifts in August, before all the mad house at the ...

Managing Stress and Motorcycle Rides!  Not rated yet
1) Do aerobic exercise which increases the oxygen flow to the brain. If you do not have time to go to the gym you can get up and walk around your office ...

Focus on the Fun Parts  Not rated yet
My first tip is to SIMPLIFY! The thought of sending out holiday cards overwhelms me... so I haven't done it in years. I decorated my house, but didn't ...

Connect - Eye Contact, Laughter & More Laughter....  Not rated yet
1. Greet everyone you meet warmly (look them in the eye, give a two handed hand-shake, smile and let them know how good it is to see them and tell them ...

It's Impossible to Have A Cranky Christmas When You...  Not rated yet
It's impossible to have a cranky Christmas when you:
1. SIMPLIFY - don't put too much pressure on yourself to get everything "perfect". sometimes simpler ...

Return HOME to Your Heart...  Not rated yet
1.make Christmas was it is - entirely in your heart
Christmas is about God and Love about returning HOME

2. if single - then have a Christmas just ...

Make a Christmas for Someone Else...  Not rated yet
1. Get the shopping and shipping done early.
2. See or talk to friends and family.
3. Adopt a family to make a Christmas for someone else.

Mary Marvin ...

Health, Love and Laugh  Not rated yet
1. Realize that nothing is more important than your health. Why stress over anything petty? (It's almost always petty)
2. Express love and kindness where ...

Remember it Ain't about You, Me or Us.  Not rated yet
1. Give Thanks for Your Blessings ( yes we all Do have some )
2. Consume less and Participate in Song, Music
3. Remember it Ain't about You, Me or Us....

I Must Remind Myself...  Not rated yet
At Christmas I must remind myself that relationships are more important than stuff. Spending time with people is more important than shopping for them....

Voila!  Not rated yet
I think a lot has to do with expectations... we go in to the Christmas season expecting problems with certain people, and voila! We get them!

I hear ...

Therapy for Two for $1...  Not rated yet
Where can you get therapy for two people for $1? Whenever I get a little down, I think about someone that I haven't spoken to in a while, log into my SendOut ...

Do Not Force Festive  Not rated yet
I think the biggest problem with Christmas stress is people force themselves to be all festive. I know this was always the issue at home. Now, in my own ...

Relationship Choices and Awareness  Not rated yet
My top three tips are as follows:
1. Remember you can't control anyone else's behavior, just your own...and you always have the choice to walk away from ...

Not a Nuclear Arms Race!  Not rated yet
1. Send actual Christmas cards, with hand-written notes, rather than newsletters, e-cards, etc. Mail with actual handwriting just seems so much more special,...

Basic Hours, Phone Calls, Alert Clients  Not rated yet
Ok, here is how I attempt to keep my holidays stress free:

1- Stick to a basic 8-10 hour day and not talk myself into excessive long hours or weekends....

Go to the Spa!  Not rated yet
To help deal with the last few stress-filled weeks, a colleague of mine has sent invitations to a spa for a pampering session.

Essentially, we'll get ...

Upromise, Exercise & Vege Days  Not rated yet
1.) Spend money via systems that pay you for shopping and dining. A former client company of mine has a great system for this - especially if you have ...

Needful & Useful Gifts-First Aid Kits  Not rated yet
Craig, As usual, I find myself in agreement with you. I (and my family) discovered a few years ago that the celebration of the nativity need not be an ...

Just Help Someone for a Day  Not rated yet
I offer something hopeful....forget the agendas, special interest groups and fear that you have lost count of your current carbon foot print and just help ...

Am I Just a Scrooge?  Not rated yet
I cannot add to the cranky stories (driving a car that was too wide down an alleyway; having just a little too much scotch before dinner; getting out the ...

Minimize  Not rated yet
Great topic, Suzie! For many of us, this season can be dreaded, because of the additional work involved in preparing for the holiday.

My tip is to minimize ...

Caroling & Giving & Gratitude  Not rated yet
The best time that I ever had for Christmas was when a group of men from the organization that I belong to went around Christmas caroling to shut ins and ...

Nurture Self and Simplify  Not rated yet
My top tips
1. Simplicity - Love, presence and laughter
Focus on the people you love and care about. Not the decor, gifts and activities. Let being 'present'...

Simplify, Rest and Just Two Answers...  Not rated yet
My top three tips:
1. Keep it simple -Buy only what you can afford... for yourself and people you love. The rest is not necessary.
Food - The tummy will ...

Think: Rest, Internet Shipping and Donations  Not rated yet
My top tip is get enough rest. Stress is less if you aren't tired already!

Use the internet for gifting - buy there, get coupon codes for free shipping,...

Simplify, Prioritize and Take Time for You  Not rated yet
My top three tips: 1. Simplify your plans and decor. Less is best. I do less and enjoy it that much more.

2. Stop buying gifts for everyone you know....

Repeat the Fun Stuff  Not rated yet
Remember the stuff that has brought you joy in season's past and remember to incorporate it this year if it still feels right and good.

For instance,...

NEW: 63 Resources for How to Reduce Holiday Stress

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