Improving Self Confidence:
Mastering Feedback
Improving self confidence will help you master feedback. Mastering how you give and receive feedback will help become a you a greater 'Master' of your life. This page is focused on providing resources to help you answer this statement, "When others provide feedback about my performance I am not defensive." from the Wake Up Eager Quiz as very true for you. Mastering feedback is one of the key focus areas for effectively managing your career. If you're not afraid of feedback - giving it or receiving it - you'll walk more boldly into new opportunities and advance more quickly. Unfortunately many of us are afraid of feedback. Afraid we'll offend. Afraid we'll be offended. This hesitancy stops many adventurer. “Laugh at yourself, but don't ever aim your doubt at yourself.
Be bold. When you embark for strange places,
don't leave any of yourself safely on shore.
Have the nerve to go into unexplored territory." ---Alan Alda Last year country music singer Kellie Pickler was a guest on The American Idol show. She waltzed onto the stage like a seasoned professional – she emanated confidence, talent and ability – she looked the part, played the part and came across as a talented pro.
Just two years ago she was in Albemarle, Alabama serving hamburgers and hot dogs on roller skates at the local fast food joint. Her father was in jail, she lived with her grandfather and I’m not sure she’d ever been out of the state. How does someone go from fast food waitress to opening act for Rascal Flats and confidently performing on American Idol in front of 31+ million viewers, emanating style and confidence, in two short years? Watching this kind of transformation, of everyday people, is fascinating to me. While I know the big machine of Hollywood is at play here – I believe the key reason these young performers can excel and become more of who they’re capable of becoming so quickly, is the focused practice and effort required of them, coupled with ongoing and regular feedback from mentors. “Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing,
doing nothing, and being nothing." ---Aristotle Tools and Resources for Improving
Self Confidence and Mastering Feedback
JOIN AND ATTEND TOASTMASTERS:I've been a member of Toastmasters since 2002. I love it. It's convenient (they have locations everywhere in the world), it's cost effective (@ $40 for 6 months membership), it helps improve communication and speaking skills and you'll get to give and receive A LOT of feedback.
It's a great place for improving self confidence. You give feedback to others when you evaluate speeches, you receive feedback when you give speeches and you observe others giving feedback and can begin to discern what works and what doesn't. You cannot find a lower cost, more location-convenient, better intended group of people than the people at Toastmasters. I guarantee you'll appreciate what goes on in a meeting. Check out the International website for a location near you.(Opens a new window.) If you're in the Marietta, Georgia area check out my Club, Toast of Cobb. (Opens a new window.) We meet every Wednesday, at noon. I always leave every meeting happy or happier than when I came in. Good learning, great sharing. Interesting people evolving and growing and just plain fun. All in the pursuit of improving self confidence and mastering feedback!
11 Mastering Giving 'Good' Feedback TipsGood Feedback: This is the ability to quickly, specifically and factually discuss with a person poor job performance, ineffective personal behaviors, personal and professional disagreements and poor work habits. If you’re doing this well you address problems quickly, objectively and without judgment and in such a way that the person wants to take positive action. “He has a right to criticize, who has a heart to help.”
---Abraham Lincoln Are you focused on improving your confidence in giving good feedback? Use these 11 self confidence tips for feedback: (*Note: PBC = Person Being Coached) - Demonstrate that you care.
- Do not hold feedback sessions when you are tired, irritable, cranky and/or stressed-out.
- Tune in to the person in front of you – eliminate distractions such as: cell phone, computer, people coming in and out.
- Listen Aggressively. (Definition: To hear with determination and energetic pursuit, demonstrating a desire to understand.)
- Use these physical behaviors: lean forward, good eye contact, don’t interrupt, ask questions.
- Cultivate and share a positive belief in yourself and the PBC*
- Use 3:1 sharing ratio (3 positive insights, to every 1 course correction) – as defined by Gallup Organization.
- ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS ask the PBC* his/her opinion or thoughts first. Example. “Suzie what do you think you did well? What would you improve?”
- Good question format: W.W.C.D.: What happened? Why? Consequences - what would you do differently?
- Address behaviors, not personality To stay objective – only share what you see and what you hear. Eliminate emotional statements, such as “You always”, “You never”
- Close all meetings with confirmation of next steps Ask PBC* to review next steps with you. Schedule a time for follow up.
Check out this online workshop What Is Communication, What is Leadership. Get exercises to help implement and use these skills every day. Check out this article with more action steps for giving feedback. These skills steps can be a big part of improving self confidence when giving feedback, because they work. Really. Try them and watch what happens, you'll be amazed.
MASTERING YOUR ABILITY TO GRACIOUSLY
RECEIVE FEEDBACK - TOOLS AND INFORMATION:Just acknowledging the power and benefit of feedback can go a long way toward improving your self confidence and lowering your defensiveness when feedback comes your way.
A key resource I've used for improving my self confidence and comfort with I'm receiving feedback is to Listen Aggressively. When I'm busy listening aggressively, I'm too busy tuning in to what I'm hearing, I can't get defensive. Listening Aggressively means to hear with determination and energetic pursuit, demonstrating a desire to understand. When I make myself listen through a very simple Listening Aggressively four-step tool I find I can manage my response and reactions better. Click here to learn more. This article includes an explanation of this tool, an audio example and a memory jogger card. If you're intent on improving self confidence in this area, go get this tool now. Use this worksheet and memory jogger card to examine your listening habits and to help remember to listen aggressively. Check out this motivation article: What is Feedback? How to Survive a 360 Feedback Survey Get additional tips on your quest of improving self confidence and mastering feedback. See this improving self confidence resource tool, plus use the free online self confidence quiz:
Self Confidence Techniques & Secrets: For Personal Growth & Inspiration
Improving self confidence is crucial being able to master feedback, and building a strong degree of Self Awareness can help build self confidence. Be sure to visit the Managing My Career Resource page,
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