Definition of Balance & How to Balance Work Life and Home Life

I was overwhelmed and silently asking for a definition of balance.

That's why I signed up to attend a price-y woman's luncheon in a swanky restaurant in downtown Atlanta.

On the day of the event the place was packed.

Attendees wore their brightest smiles and poshest "I'm-an-executive-having-lunch-at-a-fancy-place" attire.

Salads were delivered during mind-numbing and tedious comments from various Officers of this fine Association.

Finally we were able to offer enthusiastic applause and a standing ovation celebrating the speaker we all came to hear: Shirley Franklin, the first newly elected African American female Mayor of Atlanta. (The year was 2001.)

I couldn't wait to hear her definition of balance.

She shared, I'm paraphrasing here,

"Many of you ask me about how I manage work life and home life balance. Well, I have to tell you, I don't.

I've chosen this role and this work because there are things I want to accomplish. For now, I'm here to tell you, my life is not balanced."

Wow. I was pleased with her authentic answer.

But, at the same time, I was bummed out. She was not telling me that I could have it all.

That was more than 9 years ago. I'll never forget her comments. She was telling us that there's NOT a balance nirvana 'out there'. We just have to make our own choices. That's what determines how much or how little work life balance we have.

This page is dedicated to resources for helping you answer this question on the free Wake Up Eager Quiz as very true for you,

I left that lunch meeting inspired by Shirley's bright future. But really no clearer about my questions around my own definition of balance in my life.

I didn't want to not work. I love to create, grow and learn. I love to make money and meet new people, and I love being a professional 'on the go'.

I didn't want to not take care of my family and home. I love creating a warm and happy home life. I love my family.

But I did want to feel better about how I spent my days. I wanted more energy, more joy, more days that felt meaningful. I wanted to be doing the things that caused me to wake up eager, often.

Shirley Franklin's comments helped me realize that I needed to find my own definition of balance answers by better understanding what success looked like for me. I could not be apply another person's formula to my life.

I realized that I had my own formula for success, and if I paid attention I could call it out, follow it, find it, and feel it. I could create my own home and work life balance formula.

These are the things that have led to a life that is now balanced for me. It's a process, but today more often than not I'm waking up eager and I've found the right balance for me.

I share these ideas, tools and resources because they worked for me. Apply and use the tips that feel right to you, and let the rest go.

1. I started paying closer attention to what I wanted, and less attention to what other people wanted from me. Writing in my journal every day helped me hear and see what my own definition of balance for success was.
2. As a consultant I've had the opportunity to take, use and teach online assessments. The assessment that helped me really understand and allow for myself the actions, things, people and work that energize me and help me feel like I am living on purpose every day, is the Workplace Motivators Assessment. I wish everyone could benefit from this tool as much as I have.
3. This was a big one for me: I decided that feeling happy and joy-filled was more important to me than trying to impress or please others with my accomplishments. I completely stopped doing things that looked good and sounded good, but felt bad to me. When I stopped trying to explain what I was doing and why I was doing it to others, this became easier.

   And interestingly enough, I soon realized that while people will always share their opinion, they really aren't paying all that much attention to what I'm doing and why I'm doing it.

   Really, most people are "just not that into me/you/others..." They're focused on their own life. So making decisions about my life based on what 'they' might think, was a total waste of time, energy and my life.

4. We all have things we have to do that we don't love, or even like. When I "have" to do things I don't love, like: pay the bills, pay taxes, work around or for ornery people, I make "peace" with the situation. Because feeling happy and joy-filled is my dominant intention, I find ways to make the best of things I don't love.

   I've organized bill paying so that it's easier and less frustrating.

   I make a list of positive aspects about any ornery people in my life. I refrain from complaining to others about it. I do all that I can to make the best of it.

   Funny thing, usually that ornery person is little easier with me or he or she just isn't around much, when I'm around. Changing my focus, changes the dynamics. See this free relationship quiz and 3 Truths about Friendship and Drainers.

5. Surround myself with the people, ideas, shows, books and insights that feel good to ME. I've come to trust what I like and I allow it, with no apologizes.

   If I want to read a pointless mystery, I read it. If I want to be crazy about a show other people think is silly (I love and I'm crazy about American Idol) I enjoy it to the fullest.

   No apologies any more for doing what pleases me most. I'm happier. Also, I now know that when I follow my gut/Guidance, when I do what brings me joy in the moment, I'm more inspired and have more to give to others and to my career.

   This program at, MyInspiration4Life.com is a great way to instantly get more daily positive input, every day, into your life. I love this program, but only participate in it if it makes YOUR heart soar when you review it.

That's it.

Those five mindset shifts/actions have helped me, over time, find my own definition of balance for work and home:

1. Journal-ing
2. Using the results from my Workplace Motivators assessment
3. Deciding that living a happy, joy-filled life was my #1 priority.
4. Choosing to make the best of things I "have" to do, instead of bitching and moaning about them.
5. I trust and allow what pleases me, with no apologies.

Click Here for Part 2 of Definition of Balance
& How to Balance Life and Home Balance Tips

"Life is like riding a bicycle.
To keep your balance you must keep moving."
---Albert Einstein

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